#so sorry for the heavy topic i've just been thinking about it

[petr1kov]

i was reading a bit more about the sylvia likens case these days (there are not enough trigger warnings in existence that cover this case so truly, beware) and became genuinely frustrated at the the common reactions to it i see floating around; especially regarding her younger sister jenny and how she didn't intervene until it was too late, when the reason why she didn't (or couldn't) is painfully obvious. this case is horrific for many reasons but what stands out to me the most is how it exemplifies the extreme lack of autonomy children had in society, how they were denied personhood and treated like property by the adults surrounding them - and how very little that has changed, even today.

the feeling of 'had anyone noticed it, had someone like me been there, all of this would have been avoided' always permeates cases such as these, but what makes this particular case so notable is precisely the fact that other people did know what was being done to sylvia. even excluding the other kids that participated in her torture as a sort of morbid game, other adults did take notice of her abuse - not exactly the full extent of it, but the physical evidence on her was undeniable, after a while - and still, they did nothing. one neighbor reported seeing a girl with open sores, and a school nurse came to investigate, but was quickly dissuaded by claims from her 'guardian' gertrude (the woman who most abused her) that sylvia was just a wild girl that ran away from home frequently and was out of control. other neighbors saw her with a black eye, visibly malnourished, or even heard her scream and later hit the walls to try asking for help, but they still did nothing. sylvia and jenny met up with their older sister, who was already a married woman by then, and told her what was happening - she thought they were exaggerating, being dramatic about some 'standard' disciplinary beatings.

that all seems quite absurd when laying it out like this, but on a culture that found beating a child to be not only acceptable but even necessary to raise them well, that granted absolute authority of an adult over a child in their household, is that even so surprising? mistreating a child was simply naturalized, a part of the scenery.

jenny was threatened with being subjected to the same treatment her sister was receiving if she said anything about it to anyone. she attempted to sometimes, anyway, but was swiftly dismissed. if she went to the police, would any of it had been different, or would they have just sent her back on her way to get one of those 'corrective beatings' from her noble guardian and guaranteed themselves one more victim in the process? if even sylvia herself had managed to escape with her life and report her own case, would they take her seriously, or would they readily accept gertrude's version of the facts, the one she was already orchestrating by then and that neatly placed the blame on sylvia's (imaginary) immorality? would this case have even been given attention, a closer look, if it hadn't escalated so horribly that it ended with a girl's death? i don't think so.

[jiniretracha]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐲 - Jeon Jungkook (1)

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader / Park Jimin x fem!reader (but not quite, you'll see)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Future smut

Summary: You were supposed to spend your happily ever after with Jeon Jungkook... until a family issue causes him to leave and a sudden break up leaves you bereft in the arms of your best friend, Park Jimin.

Word count: 6.7k

PS: this is heavily entirely inspired in the last two episode of True Beauty (so consider this a huge spoiler if you haven't seen it) cause i've been a fan of it since it came out and I just had to do something about it lol

MASTERLIST // my Ko-Fi // SERIES MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 1: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐈𝐭 𝐄𝐧𝐝?

“Bottoms up!” Seokjin loudly cheered as you and your friends downed your soju shots. 

You looked at your now-empty glass of soju, liquid that was now burning down your throat. But you couldn’t care less about it. It had been the most tiring day ever, like every day since you started being an assistant to a supermodel newcomer, Nari.

Your eyelids were feeling heavy, dizzy with alcohol and sleep that your body was begging for since the beginning of the day. 

“Hey, Y/N-innie,” Taehyung called you, twirling a strand of hair from her girlfriend’s hair, Karina, your high school best friend, while he talked. “Nari gave you trouble today?” he asked, sipping on his drink. 

With a huff and an eyeroll, you nodded, letting your forehead drop on your palm. “Yeah, fuck, you don’t know how much her voice just irritates me, let alone her demands!” you cried, slurring almost every word. “Ever since Jimin dropped me off that one time, like- when was it? Like, a month ago? She’s been bugging me about getting her a date with him ever since” you cried.

“Then, why doesn’t he take her out?” Karina shrugs.

“Because he doesn’t like her” you sighed, pouring more soju on your shot cup.

Seokjin snorts and shakes his head. “Of course he doesn’t. Who wouldn’t?” he asks with a smile. “I stalked her Insta the other day. She’s pretty and all, don’t get me wrong, but bitch is obnoxious” he hisses.

Your eyebrows arch. “See?” you say to Taehyung and Karina. 

Taehyung laughs. “Where is Jimin, by the way?” he asked, his head turning towards the door. “He said he’d be here by 10 and that was thirty minutes ago” Tae said, looking at you.

You let out a huff. “I don’t know, honestly. He said he was practicing with his new band” you downed your soju shot and then let out a cry. “At this point he’ll abandon us for his new friends” 

“Oh no, not another Jungkook” Seokjin chuckles.

But nobody at the table laughed. Not even a smile was sent his way.

Karina glared at him.

Taehyung narrowed his eyes.

And you, you simply stared at the table in front of you. 

“S-sorry. Didn’t realise it was still a sensitive topic. Sorry” he apologised. If he were a dog, he’d have his tail between his legs, and his ears bowed down in shame along with his head. 

You sighed and used it as an excuse to pour another soju shot. 

Karina looked at you and her expression softened with worry. “Y/N, babe, don’t you think… don’t you think you’ve had enough for today?” she asked.

“Nope”

“How many shots have you downed since we got here?” she asked you, placing a hand over yours.

“I don’t know. And I don’t care” you said, throwing back the shot. “That’s better” 

Taehyung sighed and dug his hand inside his pocket. He clicked on the chat he had with Jimin and sent him another text.

Tae: Jimin hyung. We have a problem. It’s Y/N, hurry tf up. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jimin walked inside the restaurant with a pant and looked around in search of his friends.

“Jimin-ssi” Taehyung waved his hand and Jimin walked faster towards them. 

“Hey!” he panted and his eyes fell towards you.

You were slumped over the table, head inside your arms, as you mumbled incoherent nonsense against the fabric of your cashmere black sweater. 

He smiled slightly and sat on the empty seat next to yours.

“Why did you let her drink so much, you guys?” Jimin scolded them as he got comfortable.

“Yo, blame her, not us bro. She’s a big girl” Seokjin cried. “She needed those drinks. Her day at work sucked”

Jimin let out a sigh and put a hand over your back. 

“Y/N, hey. It’s me, come on. Wake up” he whispered gently as he tried to move you.

Your head shot up and you opened your eyes. You instantly smiled and let out a little chuckle.

“Hello, you…” you drawled out, poking his cheek. 

Jimin gave you a toothy smile. “Yeah, hi, sleeping beauty” he chuckled. 

“I’m sorry…” you said and let your head fall on his shoulder.

He froze in his spot and reluctantly put an arm around you, caressing your shoulder.

His eyes looked up and found Tae and Karina smirking at him. He sent them a frown and a grimace, like stop meddling!

With a sigh, you straightened up and blinked your eyes open. “This is all your fault” you spat at him.

Jimin’s smile fell. “Huh?” he asked, utterly confused.

“Every day at work is a day in hell because of that nagging bitch Nari, why can’t you just do me that favour!” you yelled, grabbing his collar and shaking him a little.

“Wait, wait, Y/N” Jimin said, prying your hands off of him. 

“Y/N, go easy on him” Karina chuckled.

You looked at her and then back at Jimin and let him go with a sigh. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jimin helped you out of the restaurant while Seokjin, Karina and Tae trailed behind. 

“You got her, right? You can drive her home?” Tae asked.

Jimin smiled and nodded, looking at you, slumped against him with a drunk smile. “Yeah, I’ve handled her before, so…” he trailed off with a shrug.

“That’s great, please text us when you guys get home, okay?” Karina said to all of you.

“Yeah, we will” Jimin said, waving at the three friends walking away.

“Buh-bye!” you slurred and then hiccuped.

“Come on, young lady…” he said and helped you walk through the streets.

You turned your head to the side and gasped when you saw the river in front of the restaurant. “Wow…” you breathed out.

Jimin let out a chuckle. “You do that every time we go out to this bar” 

You looked up at him and blushed. “I know, I just love the river” you shrugged.

Your friend eyed you and grabbed your hand, “Come on, let’s sit and look at it, shall we?” 

You smiled and nodded, jumping up and down but he grabbed your waist and pinned you to the ground.

“No jumping”

You grumbled. “Okay, grandpa”

He chuckled and helped you cross the street, leading you to sit on a bench that faced the beautiful view of Han River at night. He sighed when he had you sat down and he did the same, next to you. He curled his arm around you and stared at your face. 

“You okay?” he asked you, handing you a bottle of water he had in his bag.

“Thank you, and yeah, I think so” you sighed, drinking a little from the bottle. “I just have a lot going on, that’s all” 

“Tell me”

“No… it’s always the same” you slurred. “It’s me telling you about my problems when you’re probably on your way to becoming the next big thing. You needn’t worry about my stupid middle class issues”

Jimin cackled. “Hey, I’m middle class, too!” 

“Yeah, well. Not anymore, that’s for sure” you grumbled. 

Jimin giggled. “Come on, let’s get you sober” he said, pushing the bottle closer to you. “Drink it, now”

You chuckled at his tone and gave it a big gulp. 

Once you placed the bottle down next to you, you gave him a dizzy look. 

“What’s up” he smiled.

“Jiminnie” you started. “Can’t you just… like- a little bit, just… take her out? For once?” you pleaded him.

“Y/N…” he huffed. “I said no, okay?”

You groaned. “You could make my life so much easier. I'm not talking- like- dating and stuff, marry her or some shit. I'm just asking you to take her to dinner, once. That's all I'm asking” you insisted, putting your hands together in a praying manner.

“I don't like her! I find her just as infuriating as you do” Jimin cried.

“I know, I know. But just once… you can like- totally dump her after that” you continued. 

Jimin looked down, clearly uncomfortable. “Please stop” he told you and you bit your lip, to contain pleading him much further. “Don’t tell me to meet some other girl, alright?” he asked you, with a straight face. 

You frowned at his tone, so unlikely of his character.

“It makes me mad” he sighed. 

“Why?” 

“Why do you ask?” he chuckled and looked away. “I think you should know how I feel by now, Y/N” 

You gave Jimin a confused look.

He pressed his tongue against his cheek. “She’s drunk, Jimin. Come on” he whispered to himself. 

You grabbed his hand and gave him puppy eyes. “Tell me… It’s okay, I’ll probably remember tomorrow” 

Jimin looked at you, completely enamoured by you and his eyes couldn't help but drift down to your mouth. Your plump bottom lip was jutted and it was giving him the mad urge to bite it. But he had to pull himself together. 

You, as drunk as you were, realised that Jimin, in that moment, wanted to kiss you.

“Jimin?” you asked him.

“Yeah?” he asked you, his gaze not pulling away from your lips.

“Can we… can we go home?” you stuttered. “I’m kind of freezing”

Jimin pulled away all of a sudden and blinked. 

Of course.

“Y-yeah, let’s go” he whispered. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The next day, you sat up on your bed holding your head in your hands. 

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m never drinking again” you whispered to yourself.

The door opened and Jimin walked inside the room, holding a cup of tea in his hands and a tablet of Advil in his hand.

“You say that every time” he chuckled.

You sighed and let him sit next to you, as he handed you the cup and the Advil. “I know, but I think this time I mean it” you licked your lips, downing the pill. “Thank you, Chim”

He smiled and put the cup down. “You’re welcome”

You grabbed his arm and smiled, remembering all of a sudden. “How did practice go? Did they tell you when’s your debut date?” 

“Nope” he shook his head. “But I have a great feeling about it, actually” he nodded. “I think it’s closer than we all think”

“I think it’s around the corner. No, it’s behind you. It’s like, breathing down your neck” you smiled, sipping on the tea while he chuckled.

“That’s sweet of you, Y/N” he blushed. 

“I’m just telling you the truth” you shrugged and he pressed his lips together. 

“Thank you” he chuckled. 

You swallowed the tea and left the cup by your nightstand.

“Did I gave you a hard time last night?” you asked him, really not wanting him to answer that question but also wanting him to. “You know, I don’t remember how I got so drunk” 

He patted your hair and gave you a smile. “No, just… you were very insistent” he frowned.

You pulled your face back. “What? With what?”

“With the Nari thing” he replied. 

Your shoulders deflated. “Oh, yeah” you nodded. “Sorry about that. It’s just that… she’s like… making me hate my job”

“But you love it” he frowned.

“I know! I love it, and that’s the worst part” you said.

He sighed. “I’ll think of something” Jimin tried.

Your eyes widened. “You will?” you asked with a smile.

“I’ll try, I said” 

You clapped your hands and hugged him. “Oh, thank you, Chim. I love you!” you squealed.

Yeah… 

“I love you, too” he said, patting your back. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You walked down the steps of the building hall with Jimin, as he grabbed the keys from his car from his pocket.

“Thank you… again, Chim, for taking me here. I’m really lucky to have someone who’s there to save my ass every time” you chuckled. 

He giggled and pushed your shoulder slightly. “Don’t mention it, and don’t get sappy on me. I might throw up” 

You laughed and looked away. “I won’t… sorry” 

You got flashbacks from the events from the night prior.

How he had looked at your lips.

How he had looked at you with want.

You hadn’t been looked like that since-

“Hey, you okay?” Jimin asked you, placing a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back to earth. 

You blinked. “Um, Chim… you- you wanted to say something to me last night. You remember?” you asked him. 

He licked his lips. “I- I- uh…” he stammered. 

You noticed his discomfort and you let out a sigh. 

“Chim… don’t tell me-”

“I’m sorry” he looked away, ashamed.

You closed your eyes. “Chim, come on” 

“I know” he said, his eyes getting teary.

You grabbed his hands and made him look at you. “It’s not worth it… I’m… not worth it”

Jimin smiled. “Yeah, you are. You’re just… blind, I guess” he chuckled a little.

You smiled. “No, I’m really not. I’m a dumbass, who’s too stupid to get over his ex” you exploded. “And you deserve someone who gives you her full attention. And doesn’t have baggage like me”

“Why don’t you let me help you?” he asked you.

“What?” you asked, confused. “With- with what?”

“Help you get over him…”

「 ✦ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

𝐖𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰: 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝? ✦ 」

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 A YEAR AGO 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jungkook walked through the halls of the hospital, his breathing was heavy and his eyes were drenched with tears. 

He knew his father and him didn’t have the greatest relationship out of all, but he wasn’t going to deny that he loved him.

It was his only parent alive, and he wasn’t about to lose him just like he lost his mother. At least, without saying goodbye. 

He pushed the door open from his room and found him lying in his hospital bed.

Jungkook blinked a couple of times, trying not to cry in front of the nurses that were cleaning up his room. 

They all looked at him and gave him a sympathetic look.

He sighed and went to sit down next to him, feeling the nurses scurry away from the room to give him some privacy with his father. Jungkook grabbed his hand and watched him breathe in and out, with his mask placed on his face. He looked so peaceful and he feared that if he touched him too harshly, he’d break.

“I’m here…” he whispered against his palm. “I’m here, dad” 

His dad’s eyes blinked open and he made a surprise noise. 

“I… Jungkook” he tried to smile. 

“Dad” he smiled, caressing his arm.

“I’m sorry” he breathed out. “I’m sorry, Jungkook” he said and tried taking off his mask.

“No, no, no” Jungkook cried softly, tears falling on his face. “Keep it, you need that”

He grabbed his son’s hand and placed it close to his heart. 

“I thought… I’d go without being able to see you” he breathed out. “You traveled all the way to the US to see me?” 

He smiled at him and nodded. “I did, dad” he smiled.

Jungkook had flied all the way to Minnesota, just to see his dad after receiving a call that he had been urged to the hospital. 

“Thank you, son” he grinned, patting Jungkook’s hand. “Did you tell Y/N you’re here?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, she actually drove me all the way to the airport”

His dad chuckled. “That girl… she’s special, huh?”

“Yeah, she’s really something” Jungkook chuckled, feeling his chest tighten at how much love his heart held for you. 

“I’d… I’d like to meet her sometime, if you let me” his dad asked him.

Jungkook looked away and wiped the tears from his face. 

“I know, I know I fucked up” he sighed. 

“Shh… please try to sleep, okay?” he asked his dad. 

His dad nodded weakly and his eyes slowly closed. 

Jungkook sat up and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you later, okay?” he whispered and kissed his forehead once again. 

He left the room, and let out a sigh. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A few weeks later, Jungkook opened the door to his room at the hospital that was connected to the one his father had, and let out a breath when he let himself fall on the bed with a thud.

With a groan, he stretched his back and let all the muscles and bones crack. 

He felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his jeans and he quickly took it out from it.

Jungkook felt his mouth widen in a lovesick smile and pressed answer immediately.

“Jagiya! What are you doing up at this hour? Isn’t it like… the middle of the night in Seoul?” he asked, checking the watch he had on his wrist.

You giggled on the other side. “I was studying, that’s it” he heard her giggle and he sat up on the bed. “Are you at the airport yet?” 

“No, I just got back from taking care of him. You know, giving him food with a fork like a baby and shit. I’m being picked up in an hour or so” he smiled. “Dad’s going to be discharged soon though, I don’t know if I’m gonna have to go back again, you know?” 

“You wanna fly with your dad?” you asked him. 

“Yeah, kind of” he shrugged. “But… at the same time, I don’t wanna leave you, you know?” he chuckled. 

“Aw, you love me” you sing-songed.

“Didn’t you know yet?” he giggled. “Head over heels” 

You squealed on the other side of the line and his heart doubled its size. “I love you too, my Jungkookie” 

“Ah, I miss you, Jagi” he sighed.

“Me too” you smiled. “But we’re seeing each other in hours so… don’t miss me too much” 

“That is literally impossible” he let out a breath.

“Okay, okay, enough with me. How’s your dad?” you asked him. 

“He’s alright, I guess. He’s completely awake now, and well, he’s tired as hell” he told you. “But they told me that everything is a good sign. I mean, he had a heart attack, he could’ve died… literally speaking. But, you know, he’s recovering, and he’s doing well. And I trust them” 

“That’s good, then” you told him, with genuine happiness.

“Yeah, it is”

“I told you everything was going to be okay, Kookie” you said softly.

“You’re always right”

“I’m always right, indeed. You’re a smart boy” you giggled.

He repeated the action and giggled too.

“You know, it’s been a month since we’ve seen each other”

“Yeah” he nodded. “I miss you so much” he said, again.

“I know, you told me” you chuckled. “And I miss you too… you know, I can come meet you at the airport” 

“No, Jagi, don’t worry. I’ll head to you as soon as I arrive” Jungkook reassured you. 

“No! I really want to go!” you whined.

Jungkook rolled his eyes with a smile. “You’re not gonna let it go, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, you can come to the airport” Jungkook said.

“Yay” you squealed.

“Okay, missy. You gotta go to sleep, it’s Thursday. You have uni tomorrow” Jungkook scolded.

“Yes, sir”

He felt his cock stir at the sudden name you used. “Y/N…”

“Yeah?” you said, feigning innocence. 

“I’m hanging up” he chuckled.

“Okay” you said and he heard you yawn. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my love. I love you”

“See you tomorrow, Jagi. Love you”

He hung up the call and let the phone drop on the bed.

A few minutes later, he got a call from the uber that was waiting for him outside the Hospital.

He grabbed his suitcase and got out of the room, but the moment he did, he saw three paramedics running with a hospital bed, in which laid a patient he knew really well: his dad.

His eyes widened and he ran, following them as they got inside the Operating room. When he got to the door, a nurse intercepted him and he was sure she was telling him to step back, but with all his yelling, he couldn’t hear a thing. 

“Dad!” he yelled, “Dad!” 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You got to the airport with a huge smile on your face and sat down on a bench by the arrivals gate. You were chewing your lip anxiously and excitedly at the same time because you were dying to see your boyfriend. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

“Your dad had a cardiac arrest, boy” the doctor in charge of the surgery said, taking off his face mask.

Jungkook felt his heart drop to his feet as he stared wordlessly at the doctor.

“His vitals are stable, however… his condition is still serious” the doctor said. “We’ll do whatever it takes to get your dad back to your home country, don’t worry” he smiled slightly, patting Jungkook’s shoulder and heading back to the operation room.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Two hours passed… then three… and then four.

Jungkook was nowhere in sight.

It got to a point where you stared at the floor, feeling numb. The sadness had left your body a while ago and it was just hopelessness.

You decided to get up from the bench, paid for the parking and went straight home. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The next day, you sat with Karina next to you at your uni class, while staring at your textbook. 

You felt her shake your shoulder and you looked at her, only to find her giving you a look that screamed: I pity you.

“Hey, babe. You alright?” she asked.

Bless her soul.

You plastered a fake smile and nodded. “Yeah, just… distracted. That’s all” you lied.

She furrowed her eyebrows but let it go. 

You felt your phone buzz and you immediately grabbed it. 

Disappointment filled your body when you saw it was just a dumb Instagram notification. With a sigh, you opened the messaging app and clicked on the chat with your boyfriend. 

You eyed the past messages you and Jungkook had shared, and the last you had sent him.

You: How’s your dad?

Jungkook: the same

You: did you at least get some sleep, baby?

He hadn’t replied to that one. 

You licked your lips and pressed your eyes together, trying to refrain yourself from crying in front of a whole class. How embarrassing. 

By the end of the day, you felt your stomach killing you with anxiety, to the point that when you got to your home, you had to bend over from the pain. 

You groaned, and gasped, feeling your feet shake from the pain.

Karina, who happened to be your roommate at the time, saw you on the floor and gasped, running towards you.

“Y/N! Y/N! You okay? Hey, look at me!” she desperately said, grabbing your face. 

“Kari- Kari, please take me to the hospital” you wheezed out.

“Yeah, yeah, come on” she said. “Hold on to me”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A few hours later, Karina watched you sleep in a hospital bed. They had given you medication for the stomach pain and some pills for future anxiety attacks like the one you had.

She sighed as she stared at you.

“She’s gonna be fine, babe” Taehyung, your longtime friend, and since two months ago, Karina’s boyfriend, said, rubbing her back.

“I know, she will be. But it’s what's causing it that's worrying me, you know?” Karina bit her lip.

With a long breath out, she smiled at her boyfriend. 

Your phone vibrated on the little stand next to the bed.

Jungkook, it read. 

Karina and Taehyung looked at each other and nodded. Karina picked up the call and tried her best to sound calm.

“Hey, Jungkook” she said. 

“Oh, Karina. Hi” he smiled slightly. “How have you been?”

“I’m fine, how about you?” Karina replied. 

Jungkook sighed. “Well, I’m… holding on, I guess. Where’s- where’s Y/N?” he asked shakily. 

Karina looked at your sleeping form and chewed on her lip. “Um, don’t freak out. Y/N’s at the hospital right now, we’re taking care of he-”

“WHAT?” Jungkook yelled. “How- how did that happen? Is she okay?”

“Oh gosh, calm down. She’s fine, Jungkook. It’s not serious. She just had an anxiety attack and her stomach was killing her” Karina explained it all to Jungkook. “The exams we’ve had lately are killing us and well… you know, what’s going on with your dad took a toll on her, too. I’m not gonna lie to you, Kook” 

“Can- can I speak to her, please?” Jungkook asked, in a small voice. 

“I’m sorry, she’s asleep. They gave her some strong medicine that kicked her lights out” Karina chuckled a little. “How’s your dad, Jungkook?”

“He’s not well, yet” Jungkook whispered.

Karina hummed. Tae crouched down and said, “Hey, Jungkookie, we miss you”

Jungkook smiled. “Hey, Tae” he chuckled.

“Okay, that’s enough, adults are talking” Karina jokingly pushed his boyfriend away, making him pout at her. “Well, we wish you and him nothing but the best from here. We’ll tell her to call you when she wakes up”

Jungkook nodded. “Right, thank you” he said quietly. 

Jungkook hung up and Karina left the phone by the stand with a sigh.

“I hope he’s okay” Tae told her.

Karina grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it. “He will be. And Y/N-nnie will be too” 

Taehyung nodded and hugged his girlfriend.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Once you got home, you got ready for bed in your usual pajamas: one of Jungkook’s shirts and a pair of worn out shorts. 

As you let yourself get comfortable under the sheets, you felt your phone ringing and you quickly grabbed it, smiling slightly when you saw your boyfriend's name on the screen.

You swiped to answer the call and calmed yourself. 

“Hey, Kook! How are you, honey” you smiled. “It feels like we haven’t talked in forever”

“Hey… right” he trailed off.

Jungkook was sitting on a hospital bench, outside of his father’s room. His leg was bouncing up and down with the nerves racking over his body. 

“Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah!” you lied. “I am, actually. Of course. I actually passed my last test yesterday so…” 

“That’s great” Jungkook breathed out in a smile. 

“I know!” you squealed. “I was so nervous. But well, if I’m going to be the best makeup artist ever, I gotta pass the hardest tests, I mean, right?” 

“Yeah” Jungkook said, biting his lip and rolling his lip ring with his tongue. “Y/N…”

“Yeah, babe?”

Jungkook pressed his eyes together at the nickname. “We… we should break up” he said all in one breath. 

You blinked a couple of times, feeling your heart stopping its beating for a couple of seconds. “Huh?” you asked in a small voice. “What do you mean?”

“Waiting on my dad without knowing when he’ll wake up… must be hard for you too” Jungkook said, feeling the tears he had tried so hard to hold in his eyes, starting to fall. He sniffled and looked down to his feet. “It’s not fair to you”

You felt your vision getting blurry with tears. “What- what are you talking about?” you asked him. “It’s not hard for me at all, Jungkook” you lied. “I can wait, it’s all right”

“I don’t feel that’s what you deserve, Jagiya. I can’t even be there for you when you need me” Jungkook cried. “I feel so bad about it”

“You don’t have to feel bad about me, Jungkook” you cried.

“But I do! You’ve had an anxiety attack and I couldn’t even be there for you. God knows what else you might be going through or what you’ll go through and I’ll be unable to be there for you because of my current situation!” Jungkook said, his face completely soaked with tears of sadness. 

“I said I’m fine, Kook. Why are you doing this?” you sobbed. Jungkook didn’t answer. “I don’t want to break up. Nuh-uh” you shook your head as you frowned. “I can- fuck, I can even make money to fly back and fourth but we’re not over, we’re not!” 

“I… I can’t let you do that” Jungkook chuckled humorlessly. 

“Why not? Jungkook, that is my decision” you told him.

Jungkook smiled at your words and how you stood your ground. Just like you’ve always done. 

“Do well in Uni, Jagi. Don’t wait for my calls anymore, okay?” he asked softly. 

“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” You cried, almost grabbing your hair and ripping it out of your head from how he was talking. “Don’t say it like it’s our last time”

“It is…” he sobbed.

“No, I’m hanging up, Jungkook. You can call me when you’re in your right mind. Okay?” you said and hung up. 

You threw your phone further away on the bed and dropped your face on your pillow, sobbing your lungs out and kicking your feet. 

Karina came into the room, hearing your cries and immediately wrapped her arms around you, soothing you.

Meanwhile, in the United States, Jungkook stared at his phone and let out a sob that racked through his whole body. He let his head drop and cried, alone in a hospital hallway, his shoulders shaking. 

「 ✦ 𝐖𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

𝐖𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬' 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬?✦ 」

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The days went by slowly, oh so slowly. It was torture. Seokjin, the one who knew how to cheer you up the most, didn’t know what to do. He had run out of jokes to tell you, the ones he knew that he’d have you cackling and grabbing your stomach in seconds. 

Jimin, whom you’ve always considered your soulmate, always reminding each other how scary it was how alike you thought, didn’t even know what you were thinking now. He couldn’t decode what was on your head anymore. 

Karina didn’t know what to do either. She didn’t want to pressure you into going out to get your mind off things, but she also didn’t want you to mope around forever in your shared apartment. 

Taehyung was going crazy as well, because he knew that Jungkook, one of his best friends, wasn’t going to come around any time soon and, because he cared for you, he felt so bad for you as well. 

A month passed by and Karina had moved out of the apartment to Taehyung’s. You were genuinely happy for her, because you knew how long it had taken for those two to confess their feelings, and you knew how much they loved each other. 

But, at the same time, you were jealous of her. Because you didn’t get to have that with Jungkook, and you knew that you weren’t going to have that. 

At the same time, you wanted to have all of those things but you didn't want it with anybody that wasn’t Jeon Jungkook. And it hurt like hell.

Jimin was the one who was the most present and there for you during your break up. He’d bring you your favorite ramen, bring you take out, bring you the snacks you knew you’d like, bring you pads for your periods, etc. 

He had been your rock throughout the whole process, and it made you realize just how lucky you were to have him.

“Thank you, Chim” you smiled at him when he handed you the ramen bowl.

He smiled. “You’re welcome, Y/N-innie” he said, patting your hair.

“No. Not only for the ramen, I mean. For- for everything you’ve done so far” you said, your eyes lining up with tears. “I’m so thankful to have a friend like you. I’m really lucky”

Jimin bowed his head down at the mention of the word friend, but he let it slide, for your and his own sake. “Yeah, don’t mention it. I know you’d do the same for me”

“Of course” you smiled, and grabbed his hand. 

He covered your hand with his free hand and smiled at you. “You know, I’ve been to therapy these past couple of years and one thing that I found really… really helpful for… you know… letting go of some unsaid feelings, thoughts, whatever is going through your mind, is to write them down in letter form” he said. 

“Chim-”

“I know. It’s just an idea. Something that worked for me” Jimin spoke softly to you, caressing your hand. “You can address it to… you know who, and tell that person how you feel, without sending it to him actually. It worked for me” he shrugged

You didn’t say anything.

“I’ll bring you some diet coke, is that okay?” Jimin said, standing up from the bed.

You sighed and nodded. “Yeah. You know me so well, thanks” you chuckled.

“No worries”

Once he left, you placed the bowl on the nightstand and went to your desk to grab your phone that had just finished charging. 

Accidentally, on your way back to bed, you bumped your hip into your desk chair, making the bag that was on it, fall to the floor.

“Shit” you said, grabbing your hip in pain and crouching down to put your bag on the desk chair again.

When you moved the bag out of the way, you saw something underneath your desk. You quickly grabbed it with a frown and your heart started beating faster when you saw what it was.

It was a photo strip taken at a photobooth, with you and Jungkook in it, kissing, looking so in love like you had always been. It had written in sharpie: happy 11 months, babe!

You felt a tear run down your cheek at the memory. It was a gift he had given you 3 months ago, for your 11th month anniversary. You couldn’t even celebrate a full year together because you had broken up a week prior to the date. 

Your chin quivered with sadness and turned the picture down, unable to continue staring at it. 

But as you turned it down, you realised that something was written at the back. 

“I hope we can go to Namsan, to make a wish upon the first snow… so we can be together forever” 

You frowned as you cried. 

Now, that wish, to be together forever, was further away than Jungkook. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The next day, you walked out of Uni with Karina and Seokjin by your side, chuckling at some dumb story that Seokjin had told. 

“Oh God, shut up, Jin” Karina rolled her eyes. 

“No, Karina, but I’m telling you. We have to go to that Karaoke again” he insisted. “We’ll have so much fun, this time, Y/N-innie, you’re coming with us. No exceptions”

“Okay, okay” you sighed.

Karina and Seokjin turned to look at each other and squealed. “Yeah!” Seokjin said, grabbing your waist and twirling you around.

“Y/N’s back!” Karina smiled, clapping her hands.

“Oh God, put me down, Seokjin!” you yelled.

“Sorry” he mumbled.

You chuckled and then gasped, feeling something dropping on your hand.

Your eyes fell to the back of your hand and saw a white, little, snowflake. 

“Oh, it’s snowing, look!” Karina gasped.

You looked up and saw the snowy weather. 

Why did everything remind you of him?

That night, you couldn’t help but drive all the way to Namsan Tower, and as you reached the outer observatory, you sat down on a bench and sighed. 

“Okay… here goes my wish” you whispered under your breath. “I wish… to get the job I applied for last week. I really hope I get it, I’m needing the money” you sighed. 

You licked your lips and looked up.

“And I wish for Jungkook’s dad to get okay” you said. “I guess, that’s a little selfish, wishing twice” you brushed the snow from your hair and stood up, ready to go home. “Whatever wish comes true… I’m happy with either of those” Feeling like you’ve completed your purpose, you walked out of Namsan Tower, and went straight back home. 

「 ✦ 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 ✦ 」

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jungkook sat by his dad’s hospital bed, while scrolling down on the gallery app.

It was self-torture, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and he felt the need to go through every photo you’ve taken together. 

He swiped over every photo, memorizing every feature on your face and recalling every memory behind every single photo. 

He stopped when he reached a particular one.

You were on his bed, wearing his shirt. You were holding his brother’s new pup, the one he had given you two to care of for a week because he had gone on vacation. 

He felt a sob rack through his throat at the memory, one which he recalls was the happiest of his life. 

He didn’t know how happy he was back then, but now, he knows he had never been happier. 

And it was all because of you. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Once you got back home, you sat on your desk and grabbed your macbook, opening it. 

You remembered Jimin’s words. 

Write a letter to Jungkook, addressing it to him, without sending it. Just to free some feelings.

That was easy.

You grabbed a hair tie, wrapping it around your hair in a bun and let out a shaky breath.

Dear Jungkook,

It’s been almost 2 months since our last call. I guess you can say I’ve been doing fine, academically speaking. 

I’ve passed my classes and I’m only one exam away from getting my degree early with Karina. We’re so excited. We honestly cannot wait to start working already. 

I wonder if you’ve started studying music over there. I know that Jimin and you would’ve been such a power music couple. You would’ve broken every single record. I hope one day I can hear the music you made. You know, even the ones you played for me. 

I know I stopped texting. And I’m sure you’re wondering why. But it’s because I realized that maybe this was for the better. Maybe we weren’t supposed to be together for the rest of our lives like we had planned. Like we wanted to. Like I wanted to. At some point, I got tired of the read status. It made me sad. I can’t do that to myself anymore. 

It’s snowing here. I hope the place you’re in is warm, I know you don’t enjoy cold weather that much. 

I won’t contact you anymore.

I promise.

I just felt like this was for the better. Writing a goodbye letter to get closure.

So that we can get some closure.

So that I can get some closure.

Goodbye.

You finished writing the letter and pressed your lips together. 

Your eyes looked up on the screen and saw Jungkook’s contact on the message inbox. 

Without a second thought, you copied the letter and sent it to him. You quickly shut the macbook and stood up from the desk. You let yourself fall on your ass on the bed, placing your back against the bedpost. 

The tears fell across your cheeks, like a waterfall.

Closure. That’s exactly what was needed. 

「 ✦ 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞

𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞

𝐃-𝐘-𝐈-𝐍-𝐆 ✦ 」

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 PRESENT DAY 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

“Y/N?” 

“Huh?” you blinked.

Jimin let out a little laugh. “Did you hear what I just said?” he asked.

You licked your lips. “Yeah…”

“Well, will you let me?” Jimin asked. “Will you let me help you get over him?” 

You looked at your feet and got nervous. “I- I don’t know, Chim” 

“I’m not trying to pressure you” Jimin said, putting his hands up in a defensive manner. “Just let me take you out. Once… twice… as many times as you want” 

“That’s why you got annoyed that I kept bringing Nari up, huh?” you asked.

“Well… yeah, kind of” Jimin chuckled. 

You chewed on your lip. 

“Okay”

Jimin frowned. “Okay… what?”

You smiled. “I’ll let you take me out, Chim”

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

let me know what you think :))

PREVIOUS // NEXT

[volturiprincess]

From the other side

Demetri Volturi x F newborn vampire

Warnings: Foul language, death, mentions of a Emetophobia, I bash on the Cullens here A/N: This was a request by @kpopgirlbtssvt, I got to say I enjoyed working on this. Its been a while since I worked on an actual long one-shot request but I hope the wait was worth it, and I might of changed some ideas on the request slightly (but still stayed on topic). Enjoy💙 Word Count: 4k+ (wow)

_____________________________

(He's just so gorgeous🥰)

“I think she’s waking up”

“How do you know?”

“Well you can see her eyeball moving Emmett, I'm no doctor but I think that is a sign she is waking up”

“Oh well sorry Mister Smartypants, didn't know I was in the presences of an expert”

“Focus, should we fetch Carlisle? He said he would be back soon but what if he’s already here?”

“I'll check, you stay here incase she starts moving around, wouldn't want her newborn instincts to kill Nessie”

“Fairpoint”

Why do I feel so strange? Where the hell am I? Maybe I should wake up, maybe the one with the southern accent could give me answers. I force myself to wake up and when I do everything seems so different. Everything seems so focused, enhanced, so…perfect. When has my vision ever been this good? I know I've been neglecting my glasses quite often but even with my glasses on I never had such good eyesight, I always thought I never needed them. I sit up slowly to check my surroundings. Crap! Where am I? What even happened to me? 

Flashback….

Just left my final class of the day, Anatomy is such a pain in the ass really. Why did I decide to take both Anatomy 1 and Genetics in the same semester? But I mean it's worth it, get the harder classes out of the way and then I can maybe squeeze in other classes I am interested in before graduating. I clinged my heavy textbooks to my chest tighter as I tiredly made my way to my small apartment. I got lucky that this place was cheap compared to living on campus, and the bonus to it is that my place is about 5 minutes away from campus. I heard the school bell ring signaling some class has ended, instantly I'm surrounded by a swarm of students like me. All of them either off to  their next class, or home, or even getting a late lunch. I was slightly pushed around until I managed to find an opening but not everything can go to plan. As I was trying to get to the opening someone shoved me a bit too hard and the books I was clutching flew out of my arms, I went along with them.

I heard a simple “My bad” and then I was met with silence. I hurriedly picked up my stuff and saw how people just looked but didn't help or offer a hand. Situations like this makes me want to just disappear. Just be able to get to point A to B without any mishaps. I composed myself mentally and continued my walk to my apartment. Considering it's only 5, it's already pitch black. I don't like walking alone at night, sure I’m a night owl, but I like to be alone in a safe space. As I'm walking I felt that weird feeling of being watched, it's like a sixth sense to me at this point, please tell me it's just my paranoia and not real. I do a quick scan and I'm met with no one but silence that makes an exception to the far off train horn. I hurried off trying to shake off that paranoia until I bumped into what I thought was a wall (ended up being a ‘human’)and then I was met with darkness.

Present…

I felt my eyes fill with tears but I soon noticed they would not fall, I tried blinking but nothing happened. I went to wipe my eyes with my hand instead but felt my hand move abnormally faster. Okay what the heck? I know I sometimes have my days where my reflexes kick in or not but I have never been able to move that fast. And as if on cue my throat felt so dry, I felt like I could drain the pacific and yet that would not be enough to satisfy the level of thirst I have. I tried swallowing but noticed that it didn't even help or even do anything.

“Carlisle should be here soon with something to subdue the thirst”

My gaze snaps to the man who is casually keeping guard at the door. The way he stood made me think he was maybe in the military or something. Why is he beautiful? His blonde locks styled perfectly and his eyes… Are they gold? I have never seen that type of eye color on someone before, I mean I have read a book where one of the characters had pirate gold eyes but in person that’s strange.

“Wh-wha- where am I?”

The way his gaze slowly met mine gave me the creeps, it was like from a scene of a horror movie, where if you spot something from a distance and then you blink, they are right in front of you, killing you.

“Carlisle will answer your questions”

“Why can't you?”

“I'm not in a position to be telling you stuff, all I'm here is to keep you calm since you are a newborn”

“A newborn?”

And then I was met with silence, he turned away from me so he was back to facing the wall like he was previously. 

“Could I at least get your name?”

“Jasper Whitlock, ma’am”

What feels like ages, another man walks in with a big guy. The first one seems like he is the one in charge around here, he seemed nice. He had a calm presence within, but the other guy seemed like he was ready to pick up a fight, probably the muscles around here. Now that I'm thinking about it more, am I in some sort of mafia? But these guys don't seem all that scary, maybe the big one and the Jasper guy. The calm one got closer to me and offered me a cup.

“Here drink this, it should help with the thirst”

I crabbed the cup hesitantly, hoping it wouldn't kill me, and drank it desperately. Finishing it in milliseconds, I did feel a small relief but I still had that feeling of an intense thirst. 

“We will give you more later but I think you deserve an explanation”

“You think”

He smiled gently but nodded “Well to start of you are not human anymore, you might of picked that up slightly since you have woken up”

Not human anymore? But what could I possibly be then? What have they done to me? Am I a monster now?

“You are now a newborn, a vampire to be exact”

That right there was the biggest mick drop of my life. What does he mean i'm a-a vampire? Those exist? I thought they were just myths, that they are just some made up thing that people build up over the years. But now I'm somehow one now? This shit can't be real, he probably has me on some drugs on something. Yeah that's right, probably drugged me and I'm trapped in some dream or something.

“I can see your in denial, there’s really no way to really explain it but you really are a vampire, that cup you drank from was filled with blood, deer blood to be exact”

Oh heck no. I drank blood? I never had a problem with blood, I mean I have a major in the medical field for a reason. Just can't get over vomiting, that's just a big phobia of mine, someone throws up and I'm literally about to faint. But enough of that.

“You gotta be joking here, vampires do not exist, there just myths”

“Well with all honesty here, I assure you I'm not joking, not with the times we are facing now”

“And what is that?”

“Well my family and I are in a bit of a dilemma, you see we have engaged another coven of vampires, and they are threatening to kill our family over a misunderstanding”

“Pardon my language, but what the fuck? What do you mean ‘another coven of vampires’ and a supposed death threat, there's more of you guys out there?”

The big guy chuckled slightly at my foul language and I heard him mumble a “Oh I like her, she’s way more funny than Bella”

“Yes well you see, our kind if basically spread out around the world, this other coven of vampires are living in Italy, but this coven is basically like our government, royalty you can say even, there more dangerous than us, they feed on human blood and they have gifts that can wipe out humanity in an instant”

Ok this other coven sounds scary, wipe out humanity? What the hell did this guy and his family do to anger them anyways, must be pretty serious.

“So let me guess this straight, you and your family have angered this powerful coven of vampires who can in your words wipe out humanity and…are doing what now?”

“Well we been gathering witness to help us avoid a fight with this coven”

“I see but what exactly did you do to anger this coven of powerful vampires then?”

“My son and his new wife had a baby”

“A baby? I'm sorry I don't see a problem here”

“Vampires cannot recreate, that's what I thought until my then human daughter-in-law got pregnant”

“Ok? Still not seeing a problem here”

“I guess an easier way to explain is as I said vampires cannot recreate, we are biologically not able to do such thing between two vampires, but between a vampire male and female human, it's possible but the problem here is the Volturi believe we have created an immortal child, which we didn't”

“I see so then why do they believe you created an immortal child? And also what is an immortal child?”

“An immortal child is a child what was turned into a vampire, there stuck as a child for eternity and cannot control their thirst or be calmed or even age, they are in modern terminology are illegal, and to answer the other question, apparently hybrids are not common and they did not know about them existing”

 The more he answers my questions, the more I think I am definitely dreaming, no way in hell is all of this real. Why am I even being roped into this? I was just some human who was just trying to be a Physician and now that dream is out the window because I'm apparently a vampire now. I need to wake up, this cannot be my life right now, I have so much to live for still. Sure I was quiet and not in some relationship but I still liked the life I had. 

“Now the real question here is, why or how am I even part of this?”

They were all quiet instantly and none of them were making eye contact with me. Ok weird… I mean even the big guys amused look was gone and that guy answering my questions with a small smile was also gone. Something here does not feel right. Someone burst into the room, which freaked me out a bit because this guy along with his buddy looked intimidating with all their leather and the intense red eyes. I felt a weird current roll down my body and then I heard gasps. The Jasper dude looked at me with wide eyes, well everyone was looking at me with the same wide eyes. 

“She’s gone!”

“No I don't think so Emmett, she’s gifted”

“What are the odds of finding one that is gifted”

“Not very likely”

Why are they all talking about me as if I wasn't there?

“Um i'm right here”

The ‘nice’ one spoke up first “Well it seems you have a gift miss, your invisible currently”

“Seriously?” I looked down and as he said I am indeed invisible. Maybe that weird current I felt earlier was me triggering this. Should I tell him this?

“How were you able to do that?”

“I don't know, I um felt a weird feeling run through me after those two over there came in”

“Vladimir and Stefan triggered it? Hmm it seems it came from fear then, interesting”

So those are their names, I wonder who is who. My wild guess is the platinum blonde is Vladimir and the dark haired one is Stefan. 

As if he knew I was talking about him, the platinum started to speak “So you were desperate enough for witnesses that you created a newborn? That’s low even for you Carlisle. At least she’s gifted but even then she probably has no combat skills so she won't be able to tear heads off if the time comes”

Ok y/n, let's think about becoming visible, I don't like how they're just staring at me like that, and also speaking smack about me either. Smoke started to surround me for a minute and when I looked at my hands to see I was now visible. Again I heard the gasp. 

“How did you do that?”

“I was just thinking about wanting to be visible”

“Well that’s good to know how your gift works”

“I guess”

Carlisle, it took him like thirty minutes to tell me his name, started to explain the situation more and even introduced me to the other members of his family. Jasper along with his friend taught me some basic combat skills in case a fight broke out with the confrontation. But the weird thing I discovered was when I met the infamous son, Edward, I was able to read his mind when he was reading mine, he gave me a funky look each time and tried to reduce his thoughts as much as he could. 

Funny enough but also traumatizing, he was always thinking about his honeymoon with his wife. I do not need to know how his child was conceived. When I met Alice a similar thing happened, she spaced out (which I found out she does when she has a vision) and I saw me with another figure, a man to be exact. The man in the vision was gorgeous, I never knew such a person could exist, he looked like a greek god. I think I might have another gift but I'm not sure I should tell Carlisle, there's just something off about why he won't tell me about how I became a vampire or what happened to me that night. 

—-------------------------------

Today is the day of the confrontation. Just last night I found out about vampires and now I might face death himself. And just today I found out werewolves or shifters exist, is everything in the books true then? I can feel my chest curl into itself and I feel myself internally hyperventilating. Can vampires do that? Well if they can that is exactly what is happening to me. I was placed between Vladimir and Stefan because apparently I should blend in and be more in the background then in front with the others. The Cullens think if the Volturi find out about me they might face a punishment of some sort.

But these two vampires are freaking me out slightly, they had an eye on me constantly, as if I were some criminal or something. With the confrontation I am fighting the urge to just disappear, I don't want part in this. It's not like I could be of help anyways, I can't really turn invisible on command, it just happens and turning visible doesn't always work when I want it to. The other gift I have, I still have no idea how it works or what it is exactly. 

Everyone is standing on guard waiting for the Volturi to arrive. I think the longer we wait the longer I feel my anxiety rise. I saw Vladimir move slightly, I followed his gaze to see a whole army of cloaked figures, they all moved in sync and let a smaller group move forward, those are definitely the kings with their guards. When they all stopped walking, they removed their cloaks and my eyes widened in shock. Why are they all really good looking? The big guy looks even more scary than Emmett, he’s basically towering over everyone. The other two I see are what I can assume are twins, they look alike except for the girl having blonde hair and the guy having brown hair. I heard the others say they are the most dangerous ones. I look at the kings, the only one who looks like he would kill everyone is the blonde one, he seems like the anger issues type of guy- err vampire. 

It seems I forgot to analyze another guard, he was slightly out of my view but how can anyone ignore his presence. I think this was the guy from Alice vision, in person he's more gorgeous. His lovely blonde hair styled to look like spikes, how his face is so symmetrical, he was indeed handcrafted by the gods.

I saw his gaze shift to meet mine, and oh dear gosh, a strong feeling overcame me. I don't even know what this feeling is, it's like an invisible string is trying to pull me toward him. I want to give in but I'm scared of what this is and I'm also scared that I might die right here. His focus was on me the whole time as the others spoke, there was even a point where he turned to the bored looking vampire to ask something which concluded with a nod from him. 

I don't even know what to center my fear right now, the fear from what is happening or the fear of this strange feeling I have with the breathtaking vampire. My attention on him was paused as I saw the blonde twin try to do something but that Bella girl used her shield, the blonde girl even looked at me but something odd happened. She clutched herself as if she was in agonizing pain and fell to her knees, my eyes widened slightly as her twin brother was at her side trying to somewhat resolve her pain.

Even the other Volturi members were shocked, the same twin boy turned his gaze to us and the anger that reflected his eyes was the most terrifying thing to witness. Out of his pure instincts he released a black smoke that also came out of my hands. I started to panic and the witnesses around me were also panicking, a bunch of them hissed for me to stop but I didn't know how or what was even happening.

A loud stop from the Volturi's side made everything go back to normal, the smoke was gone, the girl who was in pain stopped clutching herself and the boy's face was back to its resting form. Even the smoke I somehow had coming out of my hands had vanished. The king in the middle was the one who shouted stop from what I can tell.

“And who is this? She seems to have a very similar ability to one of my guards”

Carlisle who still had a confused looked form the earlier actions done by me “She’s part of Vladimir’s and Stefan’s coven”

The way the two vampires looked at Carlisle at the mention of their name would have left him buried six feet under. I could tell whatever plan the doctor had in mind was not planned. I mean even I was not aware of the plan to start off with, I was just told to stay quiet in the back and not turn invisible until they commanded me to. Vladimir not wanting to be thrown under the bridge or face any death just like me didn't let his voice be unheard 

“Still low of you Carlisle, he’s lying to you”

The look on the vampire king's face can be best described as if someone stabbed him in the back.

“Oh? Please do tell”

“She’s a newborn that Carlisle himself turned just recently”

“Oh my, bring her forward now”

I looked around the witness who was just staring at me as if I grew a second head. Carlisle gave me a look to go to them, so I walked toward the other coven, twiddling my fingers to try to calm my nerves down. So this is it then? This is how I die? As I got closer the elegant vampire kept his gaze on me, it almost looked like he was forcing himself to not go to me, like he was chained down. When I was a good ten feet away from them the tall muscular vampire one grabbed me. He had a strong hold on me, if I were human, painful bruises would indeed be forming at that instant. Again that handsome vampire looked like he was about to go to me but he stood his ground. The raven one came to me closer to introduce himself

“Hello dear, what is your name?”

“Y/n”

“Now do you mind offering me your hand?”

“My hand?”

He looked a bit impatient but smiled, a creepy smile but smiled nevertheless. “Well you see I have gift of being able to look at every thought and memory with just a touch”

“Oh, I see”

I offered my hand and was instantly reliving my every thought and memory as he said but as for my incidents with Edward, Alice, and the twins I could see his every thought and memory. I saw that he wanted Alice to be part of his coven, he was thinking of just forgiving the Cullens, I even saw memories of the handsome guard who I found out his name is Demetri. It just rolls out so naturally, it's as if I was born to say his name. Aro let go of my hand after a while with a bewildered look

“Interessante, I’m sorry for the troubles you been through, but it appears you have two gifts–”

Before he could continue, the sad looking vampire rested a hand on Aro’s shoulder and he turned to him to grab his hand like he did with me. With this case when I looked at the emotionless vampire I was able to see a red string that was connecting me and Demetri. It was the richests of red I have ever seen, come to think about it, it looks like his eyes. When he let go, Aro made one of the creepiest laughs I have ever heard to humankind, straight from a horror film. 

“It appears our own Demetri has found his mate”

If I could I would shiver at the mention of Demetri’s name. The mentioned name looked at the kings with anticipation, I mean I for sure wanted answers of what is going to happen.

“Felix you can let her go now, she’s no danger to us, on the contrary she’s going to join us”

I was let go by Felix “Join you? Why?”

“Well you see dear you are the mate to one of our guards, and we would hate for him to be miserable or lack on his missions if his mate is not kept safe, maybe with time you could join him in missions”

If I'm getting this straight, if I don't join then my ‘mate’, that’s a strong word to use, will be sad and won't be able to do his job correctly. Or I stay with the people who basically kidnapped me from the life I had, turned me into this bloodthirsty monster –currently I am still thirsty– and just threw me into a situation that I was nowhere prepared for. But again I don't even know Demetri, what if he’s cruel, what if he treats me like the Cullens? My thoughts started to spiral at a point where I was one with my mind and nothing around me existed anymore. If it weren't for the husky addicting voice I would have gone mental.

“Master? May I have a word with her?”

“Go ahead, she’s your mate after all”

I felt the warmth of his soft yet rough hands. I looked into his eyes and he gave me a small hesitant smile, oh I can get used to that. I need to see his real smile now.

“Hello cariño, I am Demetri, I am aware you know nothing about me neither do I about you, but I can promise you if you come with me and my coven, I will give you anything you want, give you a life humans can never come close to having, I will promise you an eternity of love and happiness”

So this is love? The way he speaks is straight from a romance novel. And the way his face glows makes it all more sincere and truthful, heck I just want to run away with him. I was about to say something to him when I heard them. The Cullens along with their witnesses whispering about me.

“A traitor”

“All that hard work to get her here for her just to abandon us”

“I knew there was something off about her”

“Carlisle do something”

“She can’t go”

“If she goes with them, then the Volturi have more power”

“She would be stupid to go with them”

“Indeed”

“She was a mistake”

I wanted to use that gift to disappear at that moment, I didn't ask to be placed in this situation to start off with. I was forced and manipulated. 

“You promise”

His hesitant smile turned genuine “I promise amore, forever and always”

Aro literally was beaming with anticipation for my decision, reminding me of a child waiting for the final decision of their parents to let them go to a sleepover at a friend's house. I nodded which caused Aro to clap with joy 

“Magnifico my dear” His attention turned to the vampires behind me “She will be coming with us, if you dare interfere, we will wipe you out without hesitation”

Ok that’s scary but I can tell he’s serious. I could see the blonde king with a proud smirk but Demetri pulled me into his side.

“Nobody will ever take you away from me from now on”

I gave him a weak smile as we walked off the snowy battleground. I didn't ask for this new life, but maybe it won't be so bad with him. 

[k0yaz]

Helloooooo I'm not the Acheron anon but I'm probably just as down bad as the both of you she's literally everything to me and I absolutely love the way you've been writing her so I'm dragging my down-bad self to your box to ask for more crumbs 🥺

If it's not too much trouble can I request a one-shot with vampire Acheron? I've had thoughts about her white-haired emanator form (I mean have u seen her stance in the character info menu when in the ult IT'S SO GOOD AHHHHH) and I just feel like she'd be a very convincing vampire in that form. Can be sfw or nsfw I'll leave the decision up to the chef ;)

Sorry this isn't super concrete or anything it's my first time sending an ask but I couldn't help myself... Next time I crawl back into your ask box I'll try and give u more to work with I promise 😅

trepidation.

Pairings: acheron x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, vampire au, vamp acheron my beloved, suggestive, blood, yummy, slight horror scary oooooo, it’s ok yall will be fine it’s just acheron being weird, I WROTE THIS AT 2 AM and I’m too eepy rn, I’m scared it didn’t turn out good, fluffy yay, not proofread.

A/N: i love all the other acheron lovers here yall are amazing ALSO I AGREE ON THE WHITE HAIR FORM PART IT LEGIT REMINDED ME OF A VAMPIRE and off topic but yall should’ve seen me when I was first pulling for her when she came out back then I was PRAYING like someone pull me off the fucking ceiling atp 🕯️

Blurry sights of the dim candlelight filled your vision as you blinked opened your eyes, your entire body limp and splayed out on the mattress. Each deep breath made your chest rise and fall rhythmically, scanning the room for any oddities present. A sudden sense of uneasiness washed over you upon remembering where you were, hands scrambling to your throat and brushing your fingers along your skin to find any traces of a bite.

A relived sigh blew from your lips upon failing to find any sign of the woman you were currently living with potentially sipping your throat as if it was a hearty snack. Acheron never drank any blood from you, nor had she even attempted. She’d usually cocoon herself in a random spot within the manor whenever hunger overtook her, attempting to control herself as shivers racked her body each time. It wasn’t the most pleasant sight to say the least. You found yourself engulfed with a sense of alarm each time you saw one of Acheron’s unnerving reactions.

The way her blood red eyes drilled into you made your pulse nearly cease from pure terror, stomach nearly dropping as your chest tightened in those moments. However, Acheron never mauled you like your internal self told you she would. Your thoughts exaggerated a bit, sure. But a vampire allowing you to live with her without anything in return couldn’t help but raise a few suspicions within you, she surely wanted your blood, right?

You were still a bit wobbly in your movements when you rose to your feet, heavy lidded eyes blinking groggily as you shouldered the heavy red curtains to the side. Faint rays of the orange light diffused into your room, giving view to the small cemetery garden located right below the large mansion. The solid stone tombs stuck out of the ground firmly, piles of soil scattered at the foot of the gravestones. You couldn’t help but think to yourself at the halfwitted thought process that could’ve gone into placing a cemetery garden right next to a vampire’s residence, also striking in the possibility that Acheron could’ve been the reason for half of the tombs in there.

The thick crimson curtains barely allowed any light to pass through, their deepened color bearing an uncanny resemblance to blood. Still a bit uncoordinated, you decided to pace around your room in circles to recollect yourself, bare feet thudding against the spruce flooring.

“You’re awake.”

The sudden low voice struck your body upright, slowly turning around to be met with Acheron’s piercing eyes. You rubbed your elbow bashfully as your chest tightened once more, feeling a sense of clawing fear once more within you. You couldn’t help it, she was terrifying. Every time she’d walk up behind you or toward you, even with good intentions, your heart felt like threads had wrapped around the beating muscle, and tugged outward to bury the threads within it.

“Sorry if I startled you.” Acheron replied coldly, seemingly being able to sense your fear. You let out a pathetic cough in response, attempting to cover up your initial trepidation. “Right- ah..don’t worry about it, Acheron. I’m just a little tired.”

Nodding, Acheron rolled her shoulders back as a stretch before turning away from you. You tilted your head at her avoidant behavior, the evident ominous feeling lingering in the air. She had always been the quiet type, yet something seemed…off. Shrugging, you shouldered past Acheron silently, keeping your gaze locked onto the ground or the ceiling—anything but her.

Your muscles tensed upon feeling her skin graze yours, puzzled at the odd feeling. It was warm, yet cold at the same time. The specks of vermillion cracking up her arms and seeping down the collar of her neck felt different from her bare skin. Yet the strangest thing was, she had tensed up as well as you brushed your shoulder against hers, as if she feared you just as much as you feared her. However, that couldn’t be the case.

After heading to the first floor of the manor, you couldn’t help but pick up on the thick ominous atmosphere clouding the entire place. The housekeepers themselves were shaken up too, all disheveled as if they hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep the previous night. A heavy feeling seemed to weigh down your body, as a sense of caution rang within your head. It was as if gravity had tripled, yet the day didn’t seem off, just normal like usual.

You mulled over all the possibilities as to why such an unsettling tension plagued the entire space, not being able to think of even one. That was until the faint sound of ragged breaths grew louder and louder, each breath increasing in volume than the last. The noises formed a disturbing bitterness piling up inside your throat, making you recoil physically as you heard how strained and guttural each cycle of inhales and exhales were. No doubt, it was probably Acheron.

Swallowing back your fear, you headed up the stairs slowly, time nearly stopping as your breath hitched with each anticipated step. You felt like a large, heavy stone was resting within your stomach as you stood before the door, a sliver of dim light peeking through the slight opening. Acheron’s huddled form made you feel all the more worried, brows furrowing and wrinkling up your face as you saw her body twitch occasionally.

Her white hair draped down her back and over her shoulders as her back hunched over, nails digging into her own arms as she hissed in pained intake of air through her fangs. You gently creaked the door open, making her jerk in response, but still facing away from you. Although you were afraid of Acheron, it hurt to see her like this, in pain and keeping to herself.

“Acheron..?”

You began in a hushed voice as to not startle her, reaching a hand out carefully. She was quick to snap her head around, fingers nearly bruising her hugged arms. You drew your hand back to your chest as it seemed to instinctively repel from Acheron’s bloodthirsty gaze. Her hand was pressed against her mouth as she squeezed her eyes shut. It almost seemed like…she was in pain? Surges of pity for this poor woman’s famished state began to race through your mind.

“Sorry.” She croaked out hoarsely, trying to keep her voice indifferent yet evidently failing. You felt your heart almost burn at the sting of guilt you felt when she apologized, wanting to take her in your arms and hold her tight. You felt like you were in love with her all over again-

Wait, love?

You feared her, why was your brain suddenly spewing nonsense claiming to be in love with her?

No. That wasn’t it.

The reason you’d avoided Acheron was due to the way you couldn’t properly articulate your feelings to her. How you wanted to grow closer to this alluring woman and caress her cheek, whispering into her ear tenderly. How you wanted her fangs to dig into your throat and swallow each drop of your blood carefully like a divine meal she’d be honored to consume. Fear was just a mask used to avoid the fact that you’d fallen in love with someone your kind would’ve killed in an instant. Someone who your parents had always told you to beware of.

You quickly circled your arms around Acheron, squeezing her as you leaned into her back. Her expression softened, her breathing still heavy, yet seemingly calming down at your touch.

“(Name)…?”

“Hungry?”

She nodded at your upfront question visibly ashamed and embarrassed. You only pulled her to your chest, pale strands tickling your face as you buried your face into her silky hair. Acheron rested her hand atop yours which was encircled around her stomach, shaky sighs pushing past her parted lips periodically. Your thumb massaged soothing circles against her skin, eyes gently closed as you pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear.

“It’s alright. I’m here.”

Her eyelids drooped in comfort as she felt warmth course through her veins, her breathing still echoed throughout the manor, yet it seemed to calmed down quite a bit. Acheron slowly began to regain some semblance of calmness, her heavy lidded eyes locking up onto you from below. You simply flashed her a soft smile, finding it useless to hide any longer as you pulled her to your chest.

And it didn’t take long for you to unbutton your collar, tilting your neck to the side.

A/N: IM SORRY IF THE PLOT WAS TOO SUDDEN I NEED HER SO BADLY RN IM GONNA GO BUY AN ACHERON PLUSHIE ATP AND ITS SUPER LAYE SND IM SLEEPY IM SORRY 💔

I promise my next work will be better

I hate how this turned out

[you-call-it-a-dude]

Just Can't Hack It Pt.2

Pt.1

Request: so this is part two to a story. The original request was reader dealing with substance use. I had a few folks wanting another part and I was feeling inspired to add a second part so I did!

Pairings: Leighton Murray x female reader

Warnings: TW!!! I would say this one is more triggering than the first. Mentions of opioid use, accidental overdose, use of narcan/naloxone, difficult discussions around the topic of addiction, needles. This is a super heavy story. Read with caution, take a step back if it's not for you. I have many other stories you can check out if you want something more light hearted. Nobody dies, but it's a pretty realistic scenario about addiction/loving someone with addiction. Could be triggering in many ways, so please be aware.

Authors Note: here I go again adding more chapters to stories I've been saying imma leave as one shots lol. This story is super depressing, I'm so sorry. If you're into that tho, welcome lol. I apologize for my lack of posting. Ive had a lot of life changes happen recently and my mental health hasn't been the greatest (maybe writing this depressing ass chapter will help). I do want to clarify, I am not a drug user. Just a social worker that reads, does research lol. Thank you all for your patience, thank you so everyone that's read my other work while waiting for me to post again. I love you all. I love you for reading, for sharing opinions and engaging in discussions with me and I love you for existing. I hope you like this next chapter

**if you have any questions regarding Narcan/Naloxone, fentanyl test strips, or anything like that, feel free to reach out**

----

You woke up with a loud gasp, some random girl rubbing circles on your sternum. You rushed to sit forward, accidentally shoving her back.

The air was flowing back into your lungs and you felt like you couldn't get it in there quick enough. Your teeth were chattering and you were in that same fucking basement DJ died in.

You grab her wrist with shaky hands and she talked to you calmly, asking you if you were okay and all you could do was shake your head no. Your chest was heaving and it felt like you were inhaling razor blades or something.

What the fuck?

"Sit up slow." She tells you, helping you sit up and you notice her hands are also shaking. "You should probably go to the emergency room." She tells you and you're confused because you don't know why.

"Did something happen?" You ask, your throat dry. You cough to clear it and when you reach forward to grab a cup of whatever off the table, you see an oddly shaped object discarded on the table. You pick it up, your hands still shaking and you run your thumb over the pink 'Narcan' written on the label "Fuck." You whisper to yourself. "Fuck, did...?" You turn your attention to her and she kind of just shrugs.

"I'm not sure honestly. Maybe? But I didn't think it could hurt. You didn't look great, like at all."

You continue to stare down at the small nasal spray, your hands still shaking like never before. You blinked hard a few times, trying to wrap your head around everything.

"I'm so sorry." You apologized to this stranger for most likely traumatizing the fuck out of her.

"Do you have someone to call? You probably need to go to the emergency room." She ignored your apology and something about that made you feel like shit.

"Emergency room? What? That stuff worked. I'm fine." You say, tossing the bottle back onto the table.

"Yeah, but it wears off in like thirty minutes, more or less." She points out.

"Wears off?!" You ask in shock and she nods at you, looking at you like you were stupid.

"And I'm not using my other one on you so I suggest you go." She said with a slight attitude, no longer giving off that friendly vibe she had before. "And maybe get your own for next time, yeah?"

"Fine, Jesus." You say, no longer feeling as indebted to her the more bitchy she got toward you.

You take a few moments to gather yourself, still feeling not the greatest. The girl next to you that potentially saved your life was now injecting something between her toes and if that wasn't enough motivation to get the fuck up and go, you don't know what is.

You grab your things and thank her again. Unsurprisingly, she doesn't say anything back.

Your legs feel weak and shaky. Getting up the stairs and out of the house took way more effort than it should've. You hated this fucking place and you felt disgusting for even coming back.

Your intention was to take an Uber to the emergency room on campus, but when you checked your bank account you were almost certain a ride request wouldn't even go through.

You physically just felt too weak to stand so you sat on the curb, knowing you were going to have to call Leighton and just fucking hated yourself for it.

You pulled out the pills you had taken from your pocket and investigated them. You got them from Liza instead of your normal dealer. She told you they would be exactly the same pills you were used to buying from Angel, just less expensive. Your lack of funds sold you on them immediately. Except now that you actually took the time to study them, you realize they looked nothing like the other ones.

You had no idea what you took.

What you do know is you took two of them at once. It was less than what you normally would've taken. You can't even remember why you decided to only take two instead of your usual four, but clearly sober you was looking out.

Well...semi-sober you.

You called Leighton and it took three tries for her to answer. She was mad at you again because you bailed on her the other night on dinner plans that you made.

"Hello?" She finally answered. You could hear laughter in the background so you knew she was out with friends or out doing something and it made you feel even worse to ask her for help.

"Hi, Leight." You say softly, pushing your fingertips into your eyes trying to build up the courage to ask her. "Can you help me, please?"

"Help you?" She sounds concerned and you hear a door close behind her, all of the noise fading away. "What's going on?"

"I need-I need, fuck!" You try, the words feeling almost impossible to get out. "I need to go to the emergency room, I think." You finally get out, blinking hard to keep your brain working.

"Emergency room? What's going on? Where are you?"

"Please, Leighton. I'm at the blue house on the edge of campus. You know the one." You rub your palm against your forehead. "Can you please just come get me."

"Yeah. I know the one." Of course she did. Everyone knows the blue fucking house. It's literally nicknamed the druggie house on campus. There's only one reason people went there. Her voice sounded monotone and she was definitely connecting some dots. "I'm coming, I'm not far away." She hangs up on you before you can even tell her goodbye and you just feel her disappointment radiating through the phone.

It was less than ten minutes when you saw a familiar car pull up.

Leighton stepped out of the passenger side and as soon as the door closed, the window was rolling down to reveal Whitney in the drivers seat.

"Are you kidding me, Leighton." You complained as she rushed over to help you.

"Shut up." Whitney said from the driver's side, rolling her eyes at you.

"Fuck you!" You spat at her, letting Leighton help pull you to your feet.

"No, fuck you! What the hell is wrong with you?" You stayed silent because you didn't have an answer to her question. "That's what I fucking thought. Now get in the car."

Leighton sat in the back with you, letting you lay your head on her lap. She hasn't said a single word to you since she picked you up and you don't know if it was the drugs or the anxiety caused by her silence that was making your heart race the way it was.

Your body was sore and your head ached. You turned so you could bury your face in her sweater, inhaling the smell of her. She massaged your scalp, pulling you closer to her body.

Whitney dropped you both off at the front door and said to call her when you needed to be picked up. She sounded a lot nicer now, but she was also talking to Leighton.

You weren't feeling great at all and you definitely had the fear that whatever dosage that girl gave you was wearing off and you were going to die in the waiting room of this fucking hospital.

Leighton helped bring you to the front desk. You declined her offer of a wheelchair because something about that just felt degrading. Having to have her push you because of something you did to yourself?

Falling to the ground and crawling would be less embarrassing.

The woman at the desk greeted you and asked what was going on and you hesitated. Because even though Leighton probably figured shit out by now, you never said it out loud.

Saying it out loud would finally be admitting that you had a problem, which is why you've avoided it for so long.

"I-um-I-" both Leighton and the lady at the desk with the patience of a saint watch you fiddle nervously with the pen attached to a chain. "I am not feeling too great. I was given narcan maybe thirty minutes ago." You were blinking rapidly trying to get through your sentence, the fluorescent lighting and the pounding headache was making your brain short circuit.

The lady at the desk sat up quickly, asking you for your ID and insurance card, asking someone behind her to call for a nurse. You pulled your wallet from your pocket and Leighton had to help you pull the cards out because your hands were shaking and you just couldn't do it.

A male nurse appeared out of nowhere with a rolling blood pressure cuff and asked you to follow him to the triage area.

"What about my stuff?" You ask, letting this man escort you to a little area.

"I've got it, baby." Leighton said calmly, a few steps behind you, shoving your ID back into your wallet that she was still holding.

You sat down in a chair with your feet planted firmly on the floor like instructed and you felt like this firm wooden chair was consuming you.

He slipped the blood pressure cuff on your arm, the stethoscope planted firmly in the center of your arm. His eyes never left you while he asked you some questions.

"Do you know how many doses of the narcan you received?"

"Just one." You say and he nods.

"What did you take?" He asks, making eye contact with you and waiting for your response.

You swallowed and looked up at Leighton, who was waiting at you expectantly to answer.

"I don't know. It wasn't from my usual person. My friend that got it for me said it would be the same and it wasn't. I took less than what I normally would." You admit and it sounds embarrassing to even say something like that. You just hope he doesn't ask you-

"How much do you normally take? How much did you take of these?"

"Um, four to five 10mg Percocet. I only took two of these."

"Okay." He nods and the machine starts to beep. He removes the cuff from your arm and motions to someone behind you. "We are going to take you back now, okay? Your blood pressure is too low." He said while he and Leighton help you stand up and you were mortified to find them leading you to a wheelchair.

"Yeah, okay." You nod and when you sit you look back between Leighton and the nurse with a panicked expression. "Can she come back with me?"

"Of course." He takes hold of the wheelchair and takes you to a double door, pressing the button and leading you and Leighton through a maze of curtained rooms before bringing you to an open bed.

As soon as your butt hit that bed, two nurses were rushing in one was hooking you up to different machines and pulling down your shirt to stick electrodes on your chest to monitor your heart.

Before you could even process anything, your bed was being lowered and you were laying flat on your back and the second nurse was giving you a second dose of narcan up your nostrils while the first nurse finally explained to you and Leighton what the fuck was going on.

She said that narcan is usually done in two or more doses and that it often wears off before the effects of the pills do. That because you only received one dose, you were already showing the signs of the first dose wearing off and going into another potential overdose.

You didn't even have time to panic or freak out. They had the narcan up your nose and had you sitting back up like it never even happened. Leighton nodding with wide eyes from the chair next to you and trying to absorb what the nurse was saying.

You gripped the bridge of your nose and squinted your eyes while the nurse finished speaking, already starting to feel better.

"We are going to keep you here for a couple of hours just for monitoring." She rolls a little tray over to your bed that has a needle, test tubes, and a tourniquet. All the makings for getting your blood drawn. "We are required to do a toxicology screening on you, especially since you do not know what you took." She slips on a new pair of gloves. "These results will not be shared with the university." She reassured when she saw your face drop. "Arm out."

She cleaned your arm with an alcohol pad and tied the elastic tourniquet around your arm, pressing on your veins to find a vein. She inserts the needle in your arm and you watch the multiple vials fill up. She removes the tourniquet, has you hold a cotton ball where the needle went in and slaps a bandaid over it. She cleans up the area and says she'll be back shortly and walks out without saying another word.

Leighton had been silent the entire time. She was holding your things and sitting on the chair next to your bed watching the monitor with all off your vitals. Her eyes looked glassed over and you didn't know what to say or how to even begin to say it.

"Thanks for coming with me." You say pitifully and her eyes dart from the monitor to look over at you.

"I feel so stupid." She says, shaking her head. "Everything is like, making sense now, you know? The missed dates, the weird behavior, the angry outbursts." She nods her head, almost like she was agreeing with her own thoughts.

"I'm so sorry."

"And then you take shit that you don't even know what it is and- and you fucking overdose? What if you fucking died, Y/N?" She sounds so angry, but you can see she's on the verge of tears. You reach for her, touching her arm and she yanks herself away from you. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Then fucking go if you don't want to stay." You say, staring up at the ceiling, blinking back tears.

"Stop."

"I should've just let myself die on the curb of that stupid fucking house." You slammed your head against the pillow, the machines beeping like crazy for a brief moment.

"Can you just shut the fuck up with that self deprecating shit?" She spits, crossing her arms and legs.

She's very closed off and distant now. It almost felt like you could feel her distancing herself from you in real time. There's an awkward silence between the two of you and you reach for her.

"Leighton..."

"Mmmh mmmh." She shakes her head no, keeping her attention focused on her phone

"Baby." You try again and when her fingers pause over the phone screen you know you're getting somewhere. "Please, baby."

She rolls her eyes and sighs, giving you her attention.

"What."

"I'm really sorry." You say sincerely, playing with the edge of the flimsy hospital blanket.

"For...?" There was no hint of emotion to her voice. But in scenarios like this, Leighton was always good at shutting down and putting her walls up.

"For how I've been treating you. For a lot of things."

"If that's all you're going to say, that's a really shitty fucking apology."

"No! Of course that's not all. I-fuck. Okay. Just give me a second to collect my thoughts."

"Well, maybe if you weren't high on god knows what you'd be able to give me a less pathetic apology."

Maybe it was your high wearing off, maybe it was just the drugs in general, but man for the briefest moment you wanted to cuss her out.

You clench your jaw and exhale through your nose in an attempt to remain calm.

"If you let me fucking finish talking maybe you'll be more than the pathetic apology." You say through gritted teeth and she just raises her eyebrows at you expectantly. "I fucked up, okay? I know that. I didn't mean for it to get this bad." You admit and she tilts her head, her gaze visibly softening.

"What do you mean?" She scoots the hospital chair closer to your bed.

"I got the meds originally when I messed up my knee. It freaked me out about if I would get to play again or not. When I got back into it, it was great, but I fucking sucked and there was this insane amount of pressure to be as good as I was before my injury. There still is that pressure. My knee just felt tight all the time. Like it was about to snap at any moment. I did the physical therapy, the ice baths, I did everything. Well, everything but admit that maybe it's just straight up fucked." You look down and begin to pick at on your fingertips. Leighton reaches forward to stop you and instead you press your thumb against one of her manicured nails, enjoying the feeling of the pinpricking pressure against your fingertip.

"Keep going, baby." She encourages softly and you could feel yourself relax.

"I refilled my final prescription for my meds right before I started playing again. I would ration the bottle and take them after games and stuff. Then I took them during a game and realized I could play pretty damn good and my leg felt fantastic. Well, until afterwards when it felt worse than ever. Turns out if you take meds to prevent pain, it's really difficult to gauge when you're pushing yourself too far. So I would take some meds before the game, during the game, then again after the games..." Leighton opens her mouth to speak, but you continue with your thought. "...And then one or two more before bed."

"Jesus Christ, Y/N." She says, sounding both shocked and horrified. "I don't even...how long-how many? I don't know! I'm trying not to ask my question without sounding like a dick." She admits and looks to you for some guidance.

You don't know her exact question, but you can guess where she was going with it.

"It was supposed to be refill that lasted three months and finished it in like a month. Maybe a month in a half if I want to be generous. They were a low-ish doses, so I would take more."

"How many were you supposed to take a day? How many did you take?" She asked her questions in a quick succession.

"I was supposed to take one, max two, a day." She nodded and raised her eyebrows expectantly. "I was taking like four to six."

"I-what?! You know what," she takes a deep breath to calm herself down. "Let me approach this in a non-judgmental way. I just, I really want to know what happened to escalate the situation and bring us where we are now." She squeezes your hand reassuringly.

"So my prescription runs out and I find a connect when I go to one of the parties at the blue house. I got pills from him for a while, but you would not believe how expensive opioids are." You tried to joke, only when you looked up to see Leighton was not laughing, not even cracking a smile, you quickly cleared your throat and got serious. "After DJ died in the house, I starting using more and it was just getting more expe-"

"Wait what? The guy that overdosed in the house, you were his friend?"

"I, well, yes. But I was also...there. I called the ambulance when I found him." You could feel everything else coming out like word vomit. "I introduced him to Liza, who introduced him to drugs." You clenched your jaw, trying to swallow down the breakdown you've been keeping at bay for over a month now. "I killed him, Leighton. It's my fault he's dead." You look up at her tearfully and when Leighton frowns and calls you 'baby', you fucking lose it.

She stands up and pulls your face from your hands. The machines attached to you are beeping rapidly for who knows what fucking reason and it was pissing you off.

"Get these off of me." You say mid sob, attempting to pull the electrodes of your chest, yanking at the wires and your shirt blindly. "Get these fucking off!"

Leighton was fighting your arms at this point, doing her best to keep your arms still. Your brain could comprehend that you were smacking her unintentionally, hitting her arms, her hands, and her chest. You felt like your body was stuck between fight and flight right now. You felt out of control in every aspect, mentally and physically. You wanted to stop, you wanted to calm down, you just literally could not.

Within seconds two nurses came in and Leighton held your arms until one of the nurses took her place. Her absence felt more upsetting and agitating, so you attempted to reach for her. Your throat felt raw from crying and now you were screaming for Leighton, begging her to help you.

You gripped a nurses arm tightly, your face smushed against her scrubs while you watched Leighton's horrified expression as the two nurses turned you on your side. One of them pulled your pants down on one side and inject a tranquilizer into your ass cheek.

You gasped and squeezed the nurses arm, mortified about what happened and that it happened in front of Leighton. You were also both shocked and impressed at how quickly your heart rate was going down.

You also felt absolutely terrible for the tears and snot you were getting on this poor nurse's scrubs. Going back and forth between pitifully apologizing to her and to Leighton while the meds kicked in.

You could feel your arms getting heavy and the nurses began to lay you on your back again. The one you were gripping for dear life was covering you with a blanket and you can over hear the one that injected your ass trying to talk Leighton through what she just witnessed.

Something about it being normal behavior when coming off a lot of drugs so suddenly. You don't fucking know.

What you do know is Leighton looked pale and traumatized and that it was absolutely your fucking fault.

You reached for her. Desperately trying to tell her that you loved her. That you're in love with her and that you were so fucking sorry.

She looked at you confused, holding your hand and telling you she couldn't understand what you were saying. You could feel yourself getting riled up mentally, but your body felt stuck. Like gum to the bottom of a fucking shoe you were stuck and locked into this bed.

The nurses left and she pulled her chair close to your bed again, her hand never letting go of yours while she did. She sat in front of you, calling you baby, pushing hair from your face, and telling you that it was okay and to just close your eyes for a little bit.

You moaned and whined, tears sliding down your cheeks. They matched the ones streaming down Leighton's and you wanted you kiss them away. Instead she wiped your tears and begged you not to cry, her lips pressed against the side of your head.

You closed your eyes, Leighton's lips against your temple while she whispered calming things in your ear.

---

You woke up confused. You had a hospital gown on over your shirt and pants, and you were also pretty sure you were in a different room.

"Water?" You croak, your mouth dryer than nothing you have ever experienced before.

"Here." Came a voice next to you that was most definitely not Leighton.

You turn your head to the side to see Whitney holding a styrofoam cup with a straw and you push yourself to sit up straight, blinking and wiping away the dried up tears and sleep gunk from your eyes.

You hesitate at first, but you take the cup from her. You drink the cool ice water down like your life depended on it.

"Thank you." You tell her when you finished drinking, breathing heavily like a toddler after they downed some juice. You look around the room for any signs of Leighton, finding none. You try not to panic, but the machine measuring your hate rate gives you away.

"She'll be back. I sent her home a bit ago to change into different clothes and get something to eat." Whitney informs you, setting the water on the little table. She stands up and goes to the sink, wetting a small stack of those thin paper towels with warm water and wiping your face and mouth. You could feel your dried spit and snot come off with ease. You closed your eyes while she wiped your face, too tired to feel embarrassed. "Better?" She asks you, patting your face with a dry paper towel when she was done.

You nod your head yes, settling further into the bed.

"How long was I out?" You stare at the analog clock on the wall, but it doesn't help much since you didn't even know the time you came in or were knocked out at.

"Maybe seven hours? It's been a while. They said it could range from like six to twelve hours." You nod, staring at your covered feet. You can feel yourself checking out mentally, but Whitney talking again brings you back to earth. "Leighton filled me in, I hope that's okay."

"Mhmm, yeah." You shrugged and nodded, trying to hide your shame over the fact that another person knows this about you now.

"Why didn't you say anything to anyone?" She was soft with her approach, but there was a thin layer of assertiveness underneath.

"Well, Whitney, the thing about having a drug problem is you don't really fucking realize you have a drug problem until you end up in a hospital and get a needle shoved into your ass cheek. Or, maybe it's when a girl that injects meth between her toes gets pissy for using her Narcan on you. Gee, I just can't decide." You say sarcastically and Whitney's face hardens slightly.

"Okay, I get it." She says defensively, sitting back in the chair to lean away from you. You sigh and attempt to run a hand through your hair, but it's all matted and sweaty.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." You say quietly. "I thought I had a handle on it, okay? I didn't think it was a problem." You admit, nodding your head as you thought to yourself. "Clearly." You vaguely gesture to yourself laid up in a hospital bed and Whitney nods.

"Everything is starting to make sense though. Your behaviors, your angry outbursts, the way you treated Leighton."

You wince at that last one. You treated her horribly the last like eight months and you knew that.

It was such a weird feeling. To love someone so deeply and be unable to stop yourself from absolutely wrecking them and treating them like shit.

"Yeah, I've been told already things are adding up. Glad I could provide some clarity." You give her a tight lipped smile and a weak thumbs up.

"You're awake!"

You look up to see Leighton coming into the room, a little visitor badge pinned to her hoodie. You nod, looking up at her with a smile. Your eyes start to water, something about seeing her just hitting you with the overwhelming urge to cry because you were so fucking happy she came back.

You open your arms for her and she sets her purse down to rush to your side and give you a hug. You wrap your arms around her and hold her tightly, pressing your lips wherever you could.

A knock at the door caused her to pull away. She took the extra seat on the other side of your bed as the doctor came in and greeted you, washing his hands.

He did an overall exam on you. Checked your mouth, your eyes, listening to your heart and lungs. He pulled his stool up to your bed and rested a folder of paperwork by your feet.

"So, we got your blood results back. It's routine to drug test in these situations. The school will not be informed of the results." He reassured you like the nurse did previously. "Now," he opens the packet of papers to a specific page where numbers are highlighted. "You have a decent amount in your system. I'm sure that's something you're aware of." You nod and he continues. "We do not think you overdosed on the pills themselves. Not to say that means you should go out and keep slamming them back."

The three of you made a face at him, unsure if his comment was meant to lighten the mood or if he was just a dick.

"So what's the problem then?" Whitney speaks up and he clears his throat.

"Well, you have a dangerous amount of fentanyl in your system. Whatever you took was most likely laced. Had you taken the four pills you said you normally took, you would probably be dead. Here are some packets about fentanyl as well as some inpatient and outpatient treatments for opioid addiction, and some information about methadone." He sets about five pamphlets in the open space between your legs and stands up, pushing his chair back in. "The nurse is going to come in with your discharge paperwork. Schedule an appointment with your PCP. Have a good day ladies." He sanitizes his hands and leaves the room, leaving the three of you looking confused and dumbfounded.

"That was it?" Leighton asks after he leaves, clearly frustrated. She reaches forward and grabs the pamphlets off your legs and thumbs through them furiously. "You almost fucking die apparently and that's it? You go the fuck home? What the fuck."

"Leighton, please stop." You say calmly, but she was pacing the room now while she read.

"This methadone seems good. I can call my dad and get you into a good rehab. Inpatient or out." She says while reading through the pamphlets and you start feeling overwhelmed.

Of course you wanted to be better and to stop taking the pills.

But the thought of actually doing it scared the shit out of you.

"Can I please just go home first and figure this out later?" You ask, scratching your eyebrow.

"Yes," Whitney says and looks up and Leighton sternly. "Yes, you can." She says, answering for Leighton.

"I have one request." Leighton says, shoving the pamphlets into her purse before sitting at the edge of your bed. "Please stay with us for a bit. A few days, a week. However long. Just please do it, okay?"

You nodded your head. You knew you scared her, no, fucking traumatized her. She was looking at you right now like she wanted to cry. Like if you told her no she would probably burst into tears.

You couldn't tell her no. You couldn't do this to her again. You definitely couldn't do anything to risk losing her.

"Yes, I'll stay with you. Can I stop at my room at get some clothes?"

"Absolutely. Can I go in with you when you do?"

You hesitated. You thought about the state of your side of the room. You definitely weren't as clean as you used to be. You most definitely had been slacking on doing your laundry and the thought of her going in there and seeing your gross, crusty underwear made you want to flip.

You still agreed though and she kissed your cheek. She went to kiss your lips and you turned your head.

"My mouth feels disgusting. More kissing later?"

"Deal." She nods, sneaking a quick peck onto your lips anyway.

There was a knock on the door and a nurse stepped in holding some paperwork.

"Alrighty, Y/N. Let's get you outta here, hun."

---

You rushed into your dorm, quickly picking up dirty clothes from the floor and tossing them in your hamper, picking up trash and shoving it aside.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." You apologize profusely for the state of your room.

"No, don't. It's okay." Leighton says, taking in the space.

She hadn't been allowed into your room for a while. Usually when she would come over it would be spotless and smell like air fresher. It was a complete 180 from what she was used to.

You could almost see her absorbing in the gravity of your addiction. As if almost OD'ing on laced pills, blowing off her dates, and having frequent mood swings weren't enough. She was getting a first hand view of how little you had been taking care of yourself because of it.

Something about that felt more shameful than anything. You felt vulnerable and exposed. You had been caught putting on a show and now all the curtains were being pulled back to expose the complex layers of your addiction. Exposing problems that you didn't even realize were becoming problems until someone you love is watching you scramble to clean it up.

"I just need to get some clean clothes." You say, opening your drawers and finding them to be pretty bare. "Fuck." You whisper to yourself.

"Why don't you bring some dirty clothes with you and we can do laundry at my dorm. Okay, baby?"

"Um, y-yeah." You blink hard, slamming your drawer shut. You open another and are thankful to find a handful of clean underwear. You pull them out and shove them into the bag Leighton had set on your bed. "Can you get me some shirts from my closet? I'll gather my dirty clothes."

"Of course." She turns around to look through your closet.

You grabbed a garbage bag and began picking clothes off the floor, plucking clothes from your hamper and other various surfaces around the room, shoving them into the trash bag. When a bunch of change falls out of one of your pockets you sigh, going back into the bag and digging through the pockets of any pants and shorts you shoved in there to make sure those were empty before you continued.

You picked up a pair of sweatpants, digging your hand into the pocket and freezing when you felt something sharp-ish poke your fingertips.

It was almost like you could hear angels singing when you pull the item from your pocket. A small baggie with three little blue pills in it. Three pills that you most definitely recognized and knew they would be safe. You traced your thumb over them, licking your lips.

"Do you want this sweater, babe?" Leighton asks from the closet behind you and you briefly turn around to face her.

"Yes, that's perfect, baby." You tell her. You weren't even looking at the sweater.

You had look at her face. Feeling guilty about everything that went down. Feeling guilty about all the time and energy she was probably going to put in to taking care of you.

You knew the best thing to do right now would be to hand the pills over. It would be the responsible thing.

You wanted to be responsible.

You grip the small baggie in your hand tightly and scratch under your nose with the back of your hand, thinking of the way you were going to hand the baggie over.

You open your palm again to stare at the pills, your hand shaking. You look around the room one more time, turning to smile at Leighton while she had a few shirts and sweaters draped over her arm for you.

You wanted to be responsible, just maybe not today.

You clear your throat, shoving the pills into the deepest corner of your front pocket.

[jordanli-dribbles]

I've been thinking about Jordan finding out something silly you've been keeping a secret because you're embarrassed - a stuffed animal or baby blanket, maybe a diary, maybe you have a secret skill/hobby/interest thats childish/weird/embarrassing. 👀👀👀

Aw, this was such a cute idea I had to write something fun and fluffy. Sorry, it took forever! Life really been lifing lately.

You and Jordan entered your dorm room, the echo of your shared laughter contrasting the previous silence in the dimly lit room. Jordan held the door open as you walked in, heading straight to your closet in the far corner of the room.

Jordan had surprised you with reservations to your favorite restaurant—a place you both frequented, filled with shared memories. You knew this sweet gesture was their silent apology for the busy week they had. However, as you were about to leave, a light drizzle began to patter against their office window, creating a rhythmic symphony on the glass.

Jordan, always the protective one, had been adamant that you wear a jacket. They had seen you shiver in the cold one too many times, and insisted on you being prepared for an unexpected turn in the weather. So, with an exasperated sigh and a playful roll of your eyes, you had agreed to fetch a warmer layer from your closet before stepping out into the drizzling night.

"It's barely raining, Jordan. I could’ve of gone without a jacket!" you yelled from inside of your small closet, searching through the hangers for your favorite coat.

"Yeah, yeah, just get your coat. I'm not about to let you catch a cold again," they respond, lifting a pillow to sit on your bed by the headboard.

"What's this?" you heard Jordan ask. At the sound of their voice, you step out of the closet, turning towards them. Your eyes widen as you see them holding the small lilac knitted blanket that you kept neatly folded under your pillow. Horrified, you rushed towards them, trying to pull the small blanket from their hands, but they were too quick. They jumped off the bed, quickly standing up, holding the blanket out of your reach, a wide grin on their face.

"Babe, do you sleep with a blankie?" they ask teasingly, their grin widening as they see your cheeks redden.

"No," you respond sharply. They raise an eyebrow challengingly, glancing from your face to the small blanket in their hands, a deadpan expression at your obvious lie.

With a dramatic roll of your eyes and heavy sigh, you say, "Ok, maybe. Now give it back," reaching for it again, but they easily avoid your grasp.

"No, no, princess. How did I not know you slept with a blankie!?" They ask, with a teasing smile, waving the said blanket away from your reach.

“Jordan, please!” You plead, stepping towards them again. But they step back, switching growing taller, raising the blanket above their head ensuring you can't reach it.

"Ok, that's not fair!" you exclaim, now standing directly in front of them, your eyes locked onto theirs in a defiant glare. Their vexing smile remained unwavered under your intense glare.

"Care to explain?" they retort, a gleam of amusement twinkling in their eyes. They are looking down at you with a playful, almost teasing smile. Their hand slowly waving the small blanket back and forth, the movement adding emphasis to their words. You can't help but groan internally, a sigh of frustration welling up inside you. You close your eyes for a brief moment, steeling yourself, knowing they won't let the topic go.

"Ugh…fine," you groan, tilting your face up to meet their gaze. "My grandmother made it for me before I was born. I…I've slept with it every day since." You say quickly, your voice trailing off as you look away, feeling embarrassed.

You had forgotten about the blanket, you usually stored it in the back of your dresser whenever Jordan came over. Initially, you were hesitant to bring it to college, but you couldn't bear to leave it behind. You rationalized with yourself that you would only keep it until you adjusted to the new place and schedule, knowing you wouldn't sleep without it. But it’s been two years now, and you still found comfort knowing it was under your pillow, a little piece from home.

You felt vulnerable and a little exposed. No one knew about the blankie, not even your parents who thought you lost it a long time ago. You were supposed to be an adult now, yet the soft, worn-out fabric under your pillow brought you comfort that nothing else had, well, until you met Jordan.

After an awkward silence, you slowly lifted your head to meet their warm gaze, you noticed a soft smile and a glimmer in their eyes, your eyebrow arching slightly in question.

"That's really sweet," they said, as they brought their hand up to gently brush your cheek with their thumb. You felt your cheeks grow warm, not sure if it was from embarrassment or their touch.

"It’s embarrassing," you mumbled, looking down at your feet.

"No, it's not. I think it's endearing. Cute, actually," they countered, lifting your chin to meet their eyes again. You searched their eyes for some form of judgment or mockery, but all you found was the familiar warmth and kindness they only had for you.

After a silent pause, an impish glint appeared in their eyes. Teasingly, they asked, "Do you also have a stuffed animal tucked away somewhere that you cuddle with when I'm not around?" They asked with a playful smirk, a gentle ribbing that made the room feel a little less tense.

Your face quickly turned into a soft glare. "Asshole," you retorted, suppressing a chuckle, attempting to push them away. But they were quicker, pulling you towards them, their arms encircling your waist, the small blanket resting on your back.

"I'm kidding, I’m kidding," they said, their laughter echoing in the air around you. Their eyes were sparkling with mischief and amusement yet full of adoration. They leaned down, their lips meeting yours in a sweet, lingering kiss.

"You're still an asshole," you mumbled against their lips, as they broke away from the kiss. They laughed out loud before placing a quick peck on the lips. They held you by the waist as their hands softly rubbed the small of your back, their nose lightly brushing against yours in a tender moment before they stepped away.

"Alright, come on, let's go. I'm hungry," they declared. "And don't forget your coat!" they added, their voice light and playful. They gently took the small blanket, their fingers softly smoothing out any creases as they folded it neatly before placing back under your pillow. You watched them, a soft smile playing on your lips as you put on your coat.

Once you were both ready, they interlocked their fingers with yours in a familiar, comforting grip. They lifted your intertwined hands, placing a soft kiss on the back of your hand - a silent promise of affection that sent a shiver down your spine. You had your safety blanket, you had your coat, and most importantly, you had Jordan.

Don't really take request as I can't promise I will get to them but this was too cute not to do, and exactly what I needed. Thanks Anon!

[luminiscented]

could you make hcs for ninja [+ pixal, morro and harumi] and their ideas for their s/o? i love your work sm,<3

ninjago characters x their perfect gn! s/o

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Pairing: Ninjago characters x gn! Reader

Status: none

Summary: The perfect partners of each character (mentioned above)

Warnings: none

Type: headcanons

Note: I'm sorry if Harumi is a bit ooc!! I haven't really watched a lot after seasons 7 and 8!! Thank you for the request though!! IM VERY SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY!! IT'S EXAM SEASON AND I'VE BEEN HAVING SOME PERSONAL PROBLEMS!! :((

Lloyd

♡ Lloyd has a very unstable life, so I'm sure at one point he'll crave a partner who's very down to earth, but still has that kid in them!!

♡ Despite him being a warrior and a leader, Lloyd is very fragile. He can take just that much stress and hurt so he'd need you to be his safe space.

♡ In my eyes he'd need someone careful and gentle, but still someone who could be a kid along with him,,, someone who's willing to stay despite everything and listen to him. Someone to take him in their arms and shush him sweetly whenever the pressure gets too much,,

♡ Kai is a very outgoing, confident, fiery person, but behind closed doors he lets himself be the exact opposite. I see him having a partner that is ready to accept both of his sides,,

Kai

♡ I honestly see him dating a chill confident person who rolls their eyes at his pick up lines, but in the same time I see him having a s/o who's a bit nerdy and their eyes just light up whenever their favorite topic is brought up,, he's over there lovestruck while you gawk about your fixation,,,,

♡ Reassurment is constant with Kai - from both ends of the relationship and it means the world to him that for once he could get taken care of instead of always being the older brother, the caregiver, the parent

♡ YOUR SUPPORT WOULD KEEP HIM GOING!!!!

Cole

♡ A very simple, very very sweet guy, so I think an equally sweet s/o would definitely catch his attention!!

♡ If you have a thing for cooking, you're already his biggest crush

♡ I see Cole as a touchy person and he would def love it if your love language was physical touch and acts of service

♡ He's used to being the muscle of the team, always doing the heavy lifting, so it would be a relief to get pampered and taken care of after a tough mission,, he would melt if you took the time to tend to every scar,,,,,

♡ A sweet chill s/o would definitely be the perfect pick, since I think he would value stability a lot in his life.

Zane

♡ Zane's perfect match would be someone very patient and gentle!!

♡ He'd love a partner who's just as curious as him and someone who's willing to be patient with him,,,he doesn't have a very good grasp on all things romantic, but he's trying his best!!

♡ Zane really loves quality time over everything else!!

♡ Zane would be head over heels in love with someone who's very intelligent and interesting!! Bonus points if you're an artistic person,,,he tries his best to understand art and he enjoys it a lot!!

♡ He'd love a S/o who loves cooking or trying out new food, also one who loves to go out on small private romantic dates!! It's his type of thing, but he would be open to a slightly different type of outing if that's what you're into.

Jay

♡ He'd love a very energetic s/o who's just like him!! If you're into tech and stuff he'll be over the moon!!!!!

♡ Jay loves a sweetheart who could comfort him and reassure him that he isn't too much and that he's doing a good job,,

♡ If his s/o is into poetry he'd be smitten,,,yes of course he wants to hear what you wrote,,,,,

♡ Jay is the type of guy to want a very dynamic relationship with a lot of fun and surprises and dates!! He's always thinking of ways to surprise you and make you feel appreciated!!

♡ Physical touch and gift giivng are his love language!! Prepare to be smothered in kisses on a daily basis and have a ton of handmade gifts!!

Morro

♡ He is in denial to the very end.

♡ He isn't very vocal about his love, but he's like a puppy trust me,,

♡ Morro'd love a peaceful s/o,,, someone who could balance his temper out and keep him down to the ground. A calm partner would definitely be his best match. He would be very passionate in his love, just like Kai, so he'd appreciate a bit of spice as well.

♡ He's very into intelligence!! He is also head over heels for some confidence and cockiness.

♡ Morro pretends he's a very tough unlovable guy even after getting reformed, but the truth is that he's fragile. He's been that way ever since he was a kid, so he's not going to trust you with his emotions in the beginning. He needs constant reassurement even if he doesn't say a word about it. You need to pick up the subtle signs by yourself if you want to figure out what's with the change in his behavior.

♡ Make him his favorite dish, give him some cheek and chest kisses and some kind words and he's not going to leave your arms for the rest of the day. Make him feel appreciated and enough and it's going to be returned tenfold.

♡ This man will adore every single thing you do.

♡ Quiet dates are his thing, even if it's just laying in bed cuddling he's there and fully engaged. He'd love a fancy date tho,, you get a bit from both worlds.

♡ Quality time and physical touch are Morro's type of thing, his hand is always around you - rubbing your shoulder, holding your hand etc. His hand is on your waist outside and you're always getting kisses on the top of your head.

Pixal

♡ If Pix is in a relationship, she'd be fully invested, so she'd want a partner who's fully engaged as well.

♡ Her projects and work are very important to her, but you always come first.

♡ Pixal would be the type to fall for a person that takes interest into her own interests, or if it isn't their type of thing, pay attention to her, ask her questions, try to engage, show interest and she's going to appreciate you sm!!

♡ Her love language is gift giving and acts of service, but she's going to melt for some sweet words and reassurement!!! Sucker for pillow talk!!

♡ I feel like she'd love physical affection as well, especially cuddles!! Stroke her head and kiss her cheeks while letting her feel your body warmth and pixal will be so happy!!,,

Harumi

♡ She WILL treasure you and adore you every day!! Fresh flowers included!!

♡ She's pretentious and bratty and no one can truly please her you're perfect how are you doing this

♡ She's going to be protective of you, surely.

♡ She'd love to do things for you to express her love, since I think she isn't going to be the best with words - cleaning your room, doing your makeup, making you food, memorizing your medicine or your hair products etc etc.

♡ She'd be head over heels if you made her home cooked meals,,,,Harumi would love a partner who celebrates all her accomplishments with her and also one who looks after her even if she pretends she doesn't want to be,,, she's fussy, but painfully in love whenever you take care of her bruises or fix her makeup if it's smeared before she goes out,,,just little things like that make her day better,,<3

[unb1nding-t-b0y]

Transphobia/ micro aggression idk story cuz I see a lot of posts talking about transandrophobia but not as many stories about experiencing it. (Maybe it's just my Tumblr algorithm but regardless posting will hopefully help that too)

Anyways I'm 21 recently started transitioning and I've been performing at a drag place for a little bit. This elder queen (I don't even remember her name I think she was trans but with drag queens that have spent their lives In Drag it can be difficult to tell even when you hear them talk about themselves because many of these people kinda use male and female names pronouns etc interchangeably etc. I'll use she -her pronouns in the story because I'd rather not accidentally misgender a trans women and ik she doesn't care about being she/hered even if she is a cis gay) Anyways she asks bout me and I tell her my name, pronouns, and identity as one does in queer spaces. Upon hearing I was a trans masc she immediately feels the need to tell me the story of the time she *gasp* almost slept with a trans man. The story goes like this.

Shes at a drag night in some bar and a drag king approaches her and they hit it off. Shes into him and vice versa. They ditch the bar and make out in a car somewhere and when it's getting hot and heavy the dude pulls his strap out and tells her he wants to fuck her. All standard shit. But she goes on and on about how surprised and disgusted she was at both the fact that she's been fooling round with a "woman" and how off-putting it was to even suggest a BOTTOM get fucked with a dildo. She picks up. A. Drag. King. And gets surprised when he's trans. If a lesbian went to a drag night and picked up a trans woman and reacted in the same way people would call her an idiot for not bothering to have the critical thinking skills to consider that maybe that person performing gender up there is performing a different gender than they were assigned at birth. (Side note if you're gonna pick someone up without knowing anything about them you can't be mad about surprises. I swing both ways so a surprise is just fine for me but if you have a severe genital preference maybe fucking ask people before you're making out with them and wanting to fuck. Sorry you hate dildos but you should have checked, and honestly even if it's a cis dude you should at least try to verify that they get tested + use protection etc

Unfortunately the majority of drag kings I've run into have been CIS men. The place I'm in is very supportive and kind to cis men doing bare minimum performances (no choreography, no makeup, usually the dude just takes his shirt off at some point and that alone is enough to be praiseworthy. Or he wears a suit stands around and barely lip-syncs ) whereas drag kings that aren't cis or arent men are more often than not treated as outsiders.

The story also cemented what I was afraid of that ultimately I was viewed as an invader of the space. That for some reason cis queens and cis kings are more acceptable in a space that was pioneered by trans women and drag queens. The trans drag shows Ive gone to haven't had any trans men in them unless they are open call. It's hurtful it's alienating and it's frustrating. I AM STILL TRANS. IF YOUR TRANS INCLUSIVE SPACE ISNT INCLUSIVE OF ME ITS NOT INCLUSIVE. It's frustrating that as a trans man when I enter "trans friendly gay bars" I'm often treated like an annoying presence getting in the way of everyone else's dicks only zone. Sorry I don't have a cock but that shouldn't be a requirement to occupy these spaces and you can't call yourself trans inclusive when you really mean just cis gays and trans girls. At the time I couldn't really articulate how fucked up what she said was so I just kinda said some non offensive topic change and moved on but like most of the other queens ignored or avoided me and that moment I figured out why I always felt like the odd one out. Because I was.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Hello! So, I hope this request is okay to ask, if not, I'm so sorry!!! (Especially as it is a triggering topic) --- TW ‼️‼️ healing from SA

I was wondering about a fic with george where the reader (gender neutral but afab anatomy) has maybe been put through something in the past (left ambiguous), and essentially is just ready to try more intimate stuff with george, and is able to just fully enjoy themself with him? Like a healing sort of thing?

I know this request is kinda different. I've seen your other posts about sensitive topics and thought they were great, and I checked to see what you are/aren't okay with (I hope I didn't get it wrong, if I did, I'm very sorry!), so I thought I'd send this in. I just thought it'd be a healing read! BUT, I understand that it's still sensitive, so totally no worries if that's the case!

Also, I hope this isn't too specific???? I apologise if it is!!!!

I hope that you're having a lovely day ^^

((Sorry it took so long! It’s been finals season, and since it’s such a heavy topic I wanted to be in a good headspace to work on it. Ya know?))

As someone who suffers from self harming ((I have an issue where I just scratch myself and my arms get scratched like crazy. They are vertical, so no one thinks they are ‘real’ self harming scars 🙄)) so writing George on a topic like this would be very comforting to me as well. Thank you for being so brave in asking 🫂 I’m so proud of you for speaking! This will be lovely

Kissable

George Weasley X AFAB reader

Warnings: 18+, heavy talks about Self Harm and Suicidal Ideations, gentle sex, lots of fluff and kisses, body positivity, disabilities, Umbridge, Fred gets to live because we need to lighten this heavy topic, lots of gentleness, wizarding war typical angst, deafness, body dysmphroia, it’s gonna be heavy and descriptive but also there is plenty of comfort to balance. Not sugar coating comfort. Sugaring coating can be so annoying. Trust me. I know

Life sure was different, when the war finally ended. The stress of it all was off everyone’s shoulders. The world was finally able to move forward. Death wasn’t at the doorstep. Life was suppose to be happier, but you still felt like it wasn’t. That you were holding yourself back. That even the battle of Hogwarts didn’t shake you back to reality. You felt bad, and George noticed.

“S’matter, jellybean?” He asked you, as he leaned himself against the railing. Having seen you space out again. Happened alot, but he noticed it more than ever now. As if he wanted to leave you to be stressed after all. This should be a happy time, but somehow it wasn’t.

“Just….Thinking.” You muttered, as you played with the end of your sleeves. You could hear him sigh, a deep one, as he watched. As if he knew something. Something you wish he didn’t. Seemed such a worry was made a reality, when you were both suddenly apparated into his office. A place for privacy, after all.

He’s been suspicious, but a constant wizarding war tends to take your mind off things. Along with busy with a school year, and starting up a business. Made any doubts get overrun with work, and stress, get covered. Not today, though. Not today.

“Love, we need to have a talk. A serious one, please.” That made your heart drop, as he would motion you to join him on the couch. You felt so terrified, as you were forced to sit next to him on it. Now having your hands held by his.

“You know I love you, and I want to take care of you. I love you so very much. We’ve been through so much together. You’ve been there for me, and I want to be there for you. You know that, right?” He asked, as you gave a sheepish nod. Wondering where this was going, but deep down knew he figured it out. He’s had it figured out for a while.

He’s not stupid, after all. You could only hide something like this for so long. Why you never turned on the light, how you used Umbridge as an excuse for anything that was accidentally seen. How you always wore long sleeves, even when going to bed. If you could hide your body, you did. But now? George could understand that pain, and he wasn’t having you suffer in silence anymore.

“Love, it’s ok. You know that, right? I’m not here to judge, or make fun of ya. Gonna be the last person to do that. I mean, look at me. Look at Billy boy. We know a thing or two about getting roughed up.” He tried to not directly say what he wanted to say, in a means to let you be the one to say it. To let YOU be in charge of it.

After the war, he just wasn’t the same. When Fred went in that coma, oh he was in utter hell. He was already recovering from his ear. Now he had to spend every day, wondering if his twin would live or die. How Umbridge caught wind of such a thing, and tried to pull something. Like trying to say Bill was qualified under the Werewolf laws. Oh life was hell, and he had to project somehow. Not the same as you, but to say there wasn’t a taste is an understatement.

“George, I really don’t want to talk about this-“ You tried to weasel out, but his grip on your hands only tightened. The sadness in his eyes left you frozen in place. He wanted to take care of you, and make sure you knew you were safe with him. Such a complicated mess it all was. Just made you feel worse, if anything.

“Love….Let me see you. Please. Let me see all of you. You see me, can I see you?” He tried, and your tears just welled up more. You couldn’t understand why he was doing this. Why he cared. Your brain just didn’t accept that people can love you. It’s hard to grasp.

“This is different-“ You tried. “Why is it different?” He rebutted. “It just is. It’s different when I do it-“ How the brain was complex, and a pain in the ass to have. Luckily, George knew a thing or two about them. You learn alot when running a joke shop. Kids come to you with so many problems. You learn things you don’t want to.

“I don’t want to force you, but I can’t have you suffer like this anymore. I’m not doing this to hurt you, Jellybean. You were there when I lost my ear. When I thought I was going to lose Fred. Umbridge, everything. Let me be there for you-“ He begged, as he forced your hand onto the side of his head.

Your palm would feel over the scars from the Potion Master Made Spell. How deep they were, and never seemed to properly heal. How familiar the texture was. The smoothness of cut flesh, as he no longer could hear. The lines that cut into his hair, cheek, and even face. It was nothing like what Bill suffered, but it hurt. Hurt no longer being identical.

With a shakey breath, you gave in. Ready to accept him screaming at you in disgust. To say all the mean things people have said to you before. Attention seeker, that you need to make them deeper already, that you look like a cutting board. Every insult, every mean remark. All of it. You accepted your fate, as you rolled up your sleeves.

The air was silent, but it wasn’t heavy. No, it was calm. Like the air was clear. For once, the weight was gone. You couldn’t understand why there was such a feeling of peace. Why wasn’t he looking at you with disgust? With hate? Why was he smiling?

“Hm, kinda remind me of Charlie. He’s got ink like crazy, same for Bill. You’ve seen them. Bills got these protection ruins, and Charlie has as many dragons as possible. You would look good with sleeves.” He smiled, as he gently held your wrist. Truly looking at them, and not flinching at all. He was looking at you. And wanting to make you feel like there was a chance you didn’t have to hide. That you were the center of it all. Not the scars. Not even asking why you had them. He didn’t need to know. He just wanted to know if you knew he could keep you safe.

The fact he started to kiss them was what had you sob. He was kissing something you hated so much. He was accepting it as a part of you. This was just what was part of your life. Your struggles. Your fears. Your hate. He was accepting that, because he loved you. You were what he cared about. Not what people thought.

It was such a tender moment, as you were able to let yourself cry. Let yourself have that good, needed, cry. All the while George took care of you. Kissing your scars, and holding you close. Just wanting you to know you were safe with him. Not rushing you. You never rushed him when he bursted into tears, no matter how random it was. So, you deserved that attention all the same.

“George…You know how I said I wanted us to wait until we were married?” You asked him, as you wiped your eyes. He would brush them aside, as well, as he nodded to you. Keeping his eyes glued with yours, as he tried to show you his full attention.

“It was kinda a lie. I didn’t want you to see me….But I think I’m ready now. I think you can see me now.” You consented, as he smiled. Clearly proud of such a big step. His pride made you want to cry more. There was no shame, or doubt, in those big brown eyes. He didn’t see you as any less, as before the topic was broached. It was as if you simply dyed your hair. It’s still you, under it all.

“I’ve been waiting for this, and I was willing to wait for never even.” He chuckled, as he kissed your cheek. Another reminder he was there for you. Not for some end goal. There was no end goal, with love. There was a continue. A continue for as long as the hearts wanted.

With a gentle kiss to your lips, the two of you were side alonged back into your shared flat. Fred would be able to handle the shop just fine, after all. It’s near closing anyway. With how close those two were, you wouldn’t be surprised if he knew where George went. Even as far as why.

“I’ve always wanted to see you. So badly.” He sighed, as he kissed you again. Gentle, and sweet. Not this heated passion in the books or movies. Just tender, and making sure you were taken care of. In every sense of the word. This was love, not sex.

Just gentle kisses, shared between you two, as he helps remove your clothes. Allowing more and more of you to be seen on the surface. Every cut, bruise, stretch mark, imperfection, whatever you had. He was able to finally see it all, and wouldn’t stop kissing each little dot on your skin.

It was so scary. Scary to allow him. He was so proud of you to allow him. To allow him to witness you whole. He was so damn proud. Couldn’t stop his kisses all over your skin. Along with a few little playful ones, like right on your nose. Just wanting to make you smile. Know that you were safe. No matter how vulnerable you were. You allowed him to feel safe, when he lost so much. It’s a crime to not return the favor.

Open mouth kisses would trail over your body, as he helped you lay down on the bed. Slow, sweet, and savoring it. Understanding just how important it all was. No need to rush. No need to treat it as a one and done. This a moment to share, between two people who loved each other. So very very very much.

“You really are beautiful. I know I know. I can say it all I want, but I mean it-!” He whined at the end, making you smile. Ever playful, no matter the mood. Was very soothing. Made any heavy topic easier to deal with. He just made life easier, and his smile could sooth any coals under your feet.

There was one more little kiss to your nose, before he finally allowed himself to strip. His own body full of scars from so many things. War, failed experiments, Umbridge, death eaters, blood purest’s, friends turned enemies, the list goes on. Those scars felt different to you. He didn’t ask for them, yet wasn’t ashamed of them either. The mind can truly be so warped, but George was always one to be fascinated by the world. Willing to dive into that hellscape you call a brain, because you are in there after all.

“You are so beautiful.” He just kept on saying, before his naked body was pressed against yours. Playful little kisses were pressed all over your face, as your skin felt his. Felt his scars on yours, yours were felt on his. Just pure skin contact, as he was holding you close. Loving every little part of you. If it was you, he loved it. Scars and all.

“I’m ready when you are. And if ready is never, eh. Who gives a shit?” He would place another kiss to your nose, before your hands were around his neck. You were trying to mentally psych yourself up, and he was more than happy to wait. Happy to just admire you. Big ole Brown eyes, and a freckled smile.

“Yeah. I’m ready.” You nodded, as he gave you another kiss. One arm was used to prop himself up, as the other found your slit. Just being very gentle, and stroking it. Not yet intruding, but just taking it nice and slow. He was no virgin, after all. But you were, and he was going to treat you right.

Slow, steady, and calculated. A man who was that of an inventor. He knew how to move his fingers. Gentle over your slit, almost ghosting it even. Made you crave more, in such a simple gesture. Those rough fingers on such a sensitive part of your body. All exposed to him.

A kiss to your neck was given, as he finally slipped them in. Had you shiver, but he kept planting kisses on you. Easing you into such a feeling you were growing costumed to. How you always loved his big and rough hands. Always brought you comfort. Now they were bringing you pleasure.

“You already feel so wonderful. Bloody amazing.” He whispered, as he would kiss along your jaw. Just two fingers pushing in and out of you. His thumb even working at your clit, and it had you whimper a bit. Such new stimuli, but he was keeping it slow and gentle. Easing you into it.

“Don’t be shy. I can only hear so much, have mercy on me.” He teases, as it helped bring you back to earth. That this isn’t just sex. You were making love with someone you love. Made you smile, as he kissed the corner of your mouth. Drinking in the soft little breaths you left for him, before he snuck a third finger in.

“Oh you are going to feel so bloody good. I just know it. I can hardly wait any longer.” He moaned for you, as he was picking up his speed. That earned him more sounds from you, as your walls were coating his fingers. Showing you were enjoying yourself, when your voice was lost.

“Are you ready, or was this enough for one day?” More reassurance. That even now, when he’s so close to getting his turn at pleasure, he wanted you to know it didn’t matter. You matter. Almost made you cry.

“I’m ready, Georgie. I mean it. For once, I’m ready.” You would cup his face, and admired him. Those warm eyes, that imperfect unsymmetrical face. Those freckles, those scars, and that beautiful toothy smile. That’s your man, and he was all yours. Never thought you deserved such a wonderful man in your life. In this moment though? You finally accepted it. Even if it was temporary, you were able to fight your brain long enough to say you deserved this man. Seemed George could even see it in your eyes, as he pulled you into a deep kiss.

The tip of his cock felt so hot. As if he was just twitching in need. Had you feel so beautiful. Beautiful to know he was that excited to be with you. Hard to fake a feeling like that, after all. That feeling of a throbbing cock. Just hungry to finally feel you. Feeling you, he did. Finally slipping inside, as you pulled him closer. Moaning into his mouth, as the gesture is returned.

You swore he might be feeling more pleasure from it than yourself. There was a morbid comfort in that. Knowing your body could do such a thing. Ever after so much, it could still do good. Made your body relax, and had you enjoy the ride all the better.

The feeling of his hips meeting yours, and how he rolled them. Feeling those hip bones against your soft flesh. It just itched a scratch you didn’t know you had. Feeling this slender man above you, with his arms tense. Those muscles showing themselves off to you. Freckled and scared. So beautiful to you.

The moans he gave you had you drunk. They sounded so good. You swore you could get off from them alone. The feeling of him moaning into your mouth, as he kept rolling his hips into yours. Fingers tangled together, as you both just enjoyed each other. No need for words. Just embracing what your bodies wanted. The feeling of connection, and love.

It was like a beautiful dream. Nothing else mattered, in that moment. Just the two of you. Making love, and enjoying each other’s company. To feel the air grow heated, and sweat build between you both. How those easy rolls grew in speed, and had you both gasping each other’s names. Fingers holding on tighter to each other, as if afraid to melt into nothing.

“You feel so good-“ He spoke so breathlessly, as he would keep thrusting into you. All the while you moan openly for him. Your hands were trapped under his own, and you would give him squeezes of delight into those callused fingers. Allowing yourself to be louder. A mixture of allowing yourself to enjoy it, and a need to make sure he could hear how much you were indeed enjoying it. It’s the least you can do. Small acts go a long way, and you witnessed such first hand tonight.

“I don’t think I’m going to last much longer-“ He admits, sounding so embarrassed. It was cute. He was always so cute. Had you smile, and he smiled back. Your smile seemed to comfort his blushing cheeks, as you two returned another kiss. A kiss, as his hips begun to thrust in an uneven pattern. Had you whimper for him, as he kept true to his word. He didn’t last any longer, and he was soon moaning your name into your mouth. Tangling it in your tongue, and his.

The heat inside felt so satisfying. To let yourself ride a high, and have it be with him. How your legs couldn’t stop themselves, and wrapped around him. Needing to have him as close as your bodies could allow it. As if needing to become one. It was truly like being a fire work. A burst of pleasure, and sounds. It all felt so good, and it truly did feel like it filled a void in your heart that you didn’t know you had.

Coming down from the high was treated slowly. The both of you savoring it. With him holding you, as he stayed where he was. His head snuggled into your neck, as you played with his hair. Your turn in giving him the gentle comfort. Allowing him to use his working ear to enjoy your breathing, and heart. No need to worry about words. Just gentle affection. Embracing each other, and enjoying a moment of existing.

“Worth the wait-?” You asked, as you two were finally in a more clear headspace. He took a moment to think, as he pulled out you. Had you whine, as you liked the feeling. That made him chuckle, as he was soon pulling a blanket over you both.

“Yes. Very much worth the wait.” He would reassure you, as he was now your big spoon. Making sure you felt safe, in yet another vulnerable moment. His legs tangled with yours, as he wrapped his arms around you. Giving you a hug, as he pressed his face in your neck. Enjoying your scent.

Tears slipped down your cheeks, but not out of sadness anymore. But pure relief. You will still have your dark days, but you had a bundle of sunshine to stay there. Stay, and wait, for when you could speak again. He wouldn’t leave you behind when things got rough. He was making sure of that. Not even processing how much this simple act of spoon was bringing such joy. He existed, and it made you existing easier.

“Love you, Georgie.” You said, as you stole a hand to kiss. His own lips returned the gesture, as they were right on your cheek. “Love you more, Jellybean.” He yawned.

That comfort of another body, it was just what you needed. For once, in a long time, you weren’t scared to fall asleep. You were happy to sleep. To get rest, even excited to wake up again. Because you knew one thing, and one thing that changed everything.

He would be there when you woke up, and that was what mattered. He would be there, every time you woke up, and sometimes that’s all it takes to make you wake up.

Your sunshine, always there when the rain clouds came. Always there, and will never leave.

[drdemonprince]

I have Borderline personality disorder and deal with chronic suicidal ideation. up to 10% of us *will* die by suicide. not *might* or *are more likely to.* *will.* which is 50 times greater than the general populace. it's hard to talk about and even harder to deal with bc it's such a heavy topic. the best thing, I think, is to just listen to somebody who is suicidal. let them talk about it. don't offer solutions, none of that "you have so much to live for" shit. the best thing you can say is "I understand how you feel." yeah I might think about suicide every day, but that doesn't mean I'll just suddenly pop and kms. suicides are largely decided within half an hour, and even more are decided within minutes. help a suicidal person feel grounded, let them know that you respect their decision should they follow through. they know that it's not the only way.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, anon. I would caution you very strongly to not take psychiatry's profoundly flawed and biased statistics as a predictive declaration of your fate, however.

*Will* makes it sound unchangeable no matter a BPDer's circumstances -- and given that psychiatry already operates out of the stereotype that BPDers are "incurable" (and therefore not worth much effort in helping), it's subject to a ton of bias. statistically, we can't actually say that a person "will" die of something like suicide with any certainty, as it's not a simple progressive illness like a cancer or something. suicide risk is dynamic and influenced by a person's social support, relationship dynamics, financial situation, whether they're on medications that exacerbate or help things, their trauma recovery, all kinds of things that *are* mutable.

Psychologists and psychiatrist are taught downright cruel things about people with BPD -- i've been in those programs, i've heard things that have shocked me -- and it leads to profound isolation, internalized stigma, and sometimes unnecessary death. many providers give up on ya'll or make things worse for you when they have no right to do that, and they're taught that it's the most yall deserve. that's part of why the suicide risk for BPDers is so consistent.

A person ought to have the freedom to choose death and preventing all suicides is not a respectful goal. I am a harm reductionist and supporter of body autonomy to the maximum. my point here is that when psychiatry says you and people like you "will" die by suicide 10% of the time, what they mean is that that's the general trend they have observed, and they have decided that because of their (bigoted, hateful, scientifically unsupported) belief that yall can never feel better that it's a loss they are okay with accepting.

Anyone who has heard nothing but negative things about BPD I would strong recommend pick up a copy of the book Psychiatric Hegemony.

Sorry for the aside and the rant, but I really want to make that reality exactingly clear. Living with suicide ideation doesn't mean a person can't have a worthwhile life, or that their existence wasn't meaningful and important however long or short that it was.

[wordsbymae]

Plot: Reader is home sitting for a friend over the weekend, looking forward to a nice relaxing few days to themselves. That all goes to shit when a man breaks in, demanding that they tell him where the cash is stashed. Reader has to come to terms that they don't know their friend as much as they think, and that their ignorance is about to come back to bite them square on the ass.

TW: Degrading talk, reader is threatened at gun point, speaks on topics such as home invasion (which is fucking terrifying), swear words, allusion to coercion and dub/con. Short and probs really bad, cause I've been a bit sick lately sorry.

You gave a bright smile and a wave, as you watched your friend drive off into the distance. The sun bounced off the back window of his sedan into your eyes, causing you to wince and turn your head away. Your arm faltered as you turned, your wave becoming jaded. Your friend continued down the road, not once trying to meet your gaze in the rear-view mirror.

Making sure they were out of sight, you made you way back to the house, up the creaking wooden patio stairs to the heavy oak front door. Pushing your way inside with a grunt, you closed your eyes and released a breath. Finally, a whole weekend alone.

House sitting wasn't exactly how you imagined your weekend going, but if it meant you got away from your roommates for just three nights, you jumped at the chance. Your friend didn't really give an explanation for needing you to house sit, just that they had something important to do a state over. They didn't seem to want to talk about it so you didn't push.

The house was large, old and frankly pretty spooky. Despite the area surrounding it being a popular housing development, the land that this house stood on was isolated and densely packed with forage. You nearly missed the driveway, thinking it something more than a dirt service road. It did frighten you a little to think that you would be sleeping alone in a big house, but it also excited you. No need to wear headphones, no need to worry about any passive aggressive roommates complaining about you cooking, you had no one to answer to. It was perfection.

The sun had long since set as you finished eating dinner and doing the dishes. You pondered your opinions, watch TV, read a book or take a wonderful bath. It had been awhile since you didn't have to worry if someone was waiting on you in the bathroom. You could take your time till the bath water turned cold. You gathered your things, including a book you hoped to catch up while lounging in the water.

The bathroom continued the old, eccentric aesthetic your friend had gathered throughout the house. The tiling on the wall was a dark green, the bath itself was a clawed tub with golden edges. A rounded sunlight overlooked you as you entered into the warm, comforting water. You would have to go for a bath during the day to feel the sun on your skin as you bathed.

You read a few pages of your book before putting it down and relaxing deeper into the warmth. Your mind drifted, eyes floating shut. Muscles relaxed and the only problem with the whole scenario was that you left your phone downstairs and couldn't play music.

Until you were snapped to attention at the sound of glass shattering.

Heavy boots could be heard stepping on the broken glass, causing hairs to stand on the back of your neck. You reached for your phone, cursing at the remembrance of it being downstairs, most likely in reach of the intruder.

You stilled in absolute fright. The footsteps echoed like thunder through the house, they were heavy and slow. The owner of them, almost cautiously making their way as they explored the house.

What the fuck do you do.

You can't call anyone. You phone was down stairs.

You can't scream. There was no way the neighbours could hear and it would only tell the intruder exactly where you are.

You can't run. There was only one way down stairs and you could hear the footsteps on them right now.

The only thing you could do was to jump out of the bath and turn off the lights, quickly engaging the lock as you do. Afterwards you stumbled in the dark putting on your pjs, not wanting to be caught in the nude. The footsteps were getting closer and closer. You quickly found a place to hide, although you knew in the grand scheme of things hiding in a bathroom wasn't the best idea. You kicked yourself for not taking the chance to try and find a weapon. Now, the intruder was too close and would hear any movement you made.

The bedroom door was opened, and the intruder made short time searching it. You grimaced as you heard them rip drawers out and the sound of fabric tearing. You could only hope they found enough stuff to steal for them to finally leave. Your heart was pounding against your ribs, it nearly drowned out the sound of the intruder grunting in frustration.

Whatever he was looking for, he couldn't find it.

You listened intently as he rushed out of the room. He footsteps slowed to a stop in front of the bathroom door. You froze in fear as the door handle was wiggled. The intruder gave a scoff. Silence for a moment. Until it was slaughtered by the intruder slamming his boot against the door. You gave a yelp of fright, scrambling back into a corner. One more kick and the door flew open. You were now face to face with him.

He was tall, dressed in black. A balaclava hid his facial features, but his blue eyes drilled into you. Your eyes flittered down to his hand, where a handgun was griped tightly.

You opened your mouth, about to beg for mercy. When the man lifted the gun up towards you, he grabbed your arm and began dragging you towards the bedroom. You were thrown onto the bed with a yelp. You scrambled backwards, eyes trained onto the gun.

"Where's the money you stole" he demanded, hand steady and eyes narrowed.

"What? I didn't steal anyth-"

"Don't give me that shit, you either tell me where it is or I blow your fucking head off" his hand began to shake.

"I promise I don't know what your talking about. I don't even live here!"

"What" he scoffed

"I'm just housesitting for my friend, they-"

"Let me guess, had a last minute family emergency and had to leave in a hurry" his voice was softer now, yet still harsh.

You just nodded.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" he screamed, gun flying back into his holster, while the owner began wrecking the room.

Drawers were ripped out, a chair flung at the window and a vase thrown onto the ground.

"That no good, fucking bastard! I should have known I was too late, they've problem already used up all the cash" he muttered

"Um, excuse me..." his eyes snapped onto you.

"What do mean by stolen money?"

"Exactly how it sounds idiot. That friend of yours skipped down with my cash, leaving you to the wolves as it were."

"No, they wouldn't do that. Steal money or put me in danger!" you pleaded, still sitting close to the bedframe.

"Whether or not you believe it, it doesn't matter, they did steal money and they did leave you to cop the fallout. Sounds like an amazing friend" he scoffed.

You gritted your teeth in denial but thought it best to keep your thoughts to yourself.

"So...are you gonna leave me alone now" you whispered.

He let out a loud and harsh laugh.

"No can do sweetheart. How do I know your not lying, that you actually did steal my money. And if you are telling the truth, don't you think I deserve some sort of reparation? For all the shit your friend put me through?"

"I don't understand"

"You don't have to understand. I'll show you what I want"

I actually hate this.

[viesantewrites]

𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝

(𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧)

Robert Fischer (Inception) x Reader

note: Hey guys, I‘ve rewritten this story a bit and decided to post it on my sideblog. I've changed some of the themes and also that the main character is no longer an OC named Victoria, but the reader. I think this story is kinda difficult to write, which is why I've rewritten it several times. I love plots like Shutter Island and tried to do something similar here & it‘s also a story about parasocial relationships and unrequited love.

summary: The reader is hopelessly in love with her boss Robert Fischer, but he doesn't seem to be interested in her. By an unexpected coincidence, they meet in the city and his sudden intense affection for her confuses her. The reader begins to suspect that something is wrong, and when she finally uncovers the truth about her encounters with Fischer the heartbreaking reality is revealed to her.

you don‘t have to watch the movie to understand the story.

age gap, but the characters are both adults. Robert is 37-39, is divorced and has a child. The reader is about 28/29.

word count: 5000+

warnings: topics like mental illness, depression, this is a quite dark and heavy story

It was just half past seven when she heard the familiar footsteps in the corridor approaching the office next door. A key was inserted into the lock and a moment later the door opened.

Glancing around to make sure her workspace wasn't too messy, she threw an old paper cup into the bin before her boss poked his head through the door.

"Good morning, Miss YLN, so busy already?" he asked with a tired smile. "It doesn't reflect well on me as a boss to have my assistant here before me. I'm sorry, Monday mornings are always a bit stressful for me."

"No problem, Mr Fischer. I've already sorted the mail for you, it's on your desk," she said kindly, watching him as he took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack, a little damp from the rain.

"Thank you, I can count on you."

He was a very elegant, handsome man, about ten years her senior, with dark hair, blue eyes, high cheekbones and an elegant black suit. She must have stared at him a little too long, because he turned to her with a questioning smile.

Immediately her cheeks flushed and she turned back to her computer screen, but by then Mr Fischer had already approached her and put some documents on her desk. "Please scan them all and email them to Mr Parker, he's been waiting for them for days," he said to her. "It would be best if we sat down together later and quickly discuss my tasks for today, there is a lot to do. If I'm not mistaken, I have a client meeting at three today."

"At two, sir," she corrected him, handing him a planner with today's date thickly underlined.

He started to grin. "You see, this is exactly why I have an assistant."

Fischer disappeared into his office.

She sighed slightly and went to work scanning the documents. She had been working for Fischer Morrow, one of the world's largest energy companies, for barely a month. Their headquarters had moved from Sydney to London after the death of their CEO, Maurice Fischer. Her current boss, Robert Fischer, was a direct descendant.

She liked Fischer Jr a lot. He was friendly, supportive and didn't get angry when things didn't go to plan. But in some ways he always seemed so unapproachable. For example, he never talked about his private life and YN had no idea who he was outside of work. Then again, he was her boss and his private life was none of her business. But deep down she admitted that she was very interested in him.

The days flew by and she finally felt as if she had been employed by Fischer Morrow for an eternity. But who Robert Fischer really was remained a mystery.

One evening, as she was about to leave, she quietly opened the door to Fischer's office. He was sitting in front of his computer, his chin resting on his hands. "Have a nice evening, Mr Fischer." He jumped slightly, obviously not having heard her come in, but then he smiled. "Thank you, you too."

YN looked at her watch. "It's almost half past seven, don't you want to finish your work soon? Don't you have a wife waiting for you?"

Mr Fischer shrugged. "I've been divorced for a few years now, and I only see my daughter at weekends. The only thing waiting for me is an empty, dark apartment."

YN held her breath. It was the first time he had told her anything about his private life. But in the same second, he seemed to regret his words.

"No one waits for me either," she said. "Except for my cat."

Fischer raised an eyebrow with a smile. "At least that's something."

Finally she said goodbye and left the office. But all the way home, she kept thinking about her conversation with Fischer.

Was he perhaps as lonely as she was?

Tired, YN lay in bed. She didn't even have the strength to change her clothes and remove her make up. Although she wanted nothing more than to get out of that itchy, uncomfortable dress and tights. A quiet meow sounded beside her and she felt something soft brush against her arm. Smiling, she pulled the cat closer and buried her face in its white fur.

Since leaving her small home village for London, she had no one to talk to. Her old friends had all left her and moved on with their own lives. Robert Fischer was the only one she spoke to regularly, though it was far from a friendship. With the cat in her arms, she turned to the other side. But what if she had feelings for him?

Maybe she should tell him. But wasn't that too much? He was still her boss, after all, and there were probably plenty of women who were interested in him.

She quickly pushed the thought aside and closed her eyes.

Robert Fischer turned curiously when he heard the quick clicking of heels in the corridor. Panting, his assistant opened the door and dropped her bag on the desk.

"Miss YLN, are you okay?"

Her hair was messy, her coat hung loosely over her shoulders as if she hadn't had time to put it on properly, and her lipstick was a little smudged.

"I… overslept," she said, panting. "I'm sorry."

Fischer looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "It's okay. But it shouldn't happen again."

"Of course not, sir," she replied immediately.

He quickly disappeared into his office and returned with a thick stack of papers and a folder.

"Would you be so kind as to sort these documents alphabetically for me? They've been on my desk for days and I haven't had a chance to get to them. I know it's not an exciting task."

She nodded and took the heavy pile from his hand. Fischer thanked her and hurried back to his office.

Sighing, she set to work. But with each page, she found her concentration fading and her mind wandering. Her head ached, her eyes burned and she felt incredibly tired. But she tried not to show it, kept working as hard as she could and finally put the sorted file back on Mr Fischer's desk.

Exhausted, she walked back to her office, sat down in her chair and buried her face in her hands. She was shivering and her ears were ringing. Was it because she had forgotten to take her medicine today?

"Miss YLN?" she heard her boss' voice.

She turned immediately and forced a smile. "Yes, Mr Fischer?"

"I have an job interview scheduled for ten, would you be so kind as to prepare the conference room for it?"

"Of course, sir."

He stopped halfway and looked at YN questioningly. "Are you okay? You look so pale." She nodded quickly, forcing a smile. "Everything's fine, Mr Fischer." Fischer looked at her, raised his eyebrows, then handed her the key to the meeting room and disappeared back into his office.

A strange feeling of dizziness spread through her head as she walked down the long corridor leading to the conference rooms.

What was wrong with her today?

When it started to get dark outside, YN finally turned off her computer and reached for her bag. The strange dizziness had improved during the day, leading her to conclude that she simply needed a break from work. Fortunately, it was Friday. She knocked gently on Fischer's door, as she always did before leaving, to wish him a pleasant evening. He was sitting there as usual, his chin resting on his hand, deep in thought. He glanced up briefly and nodded politely, noticing her in the doorway. He looked stunningly handsome today, even after this long and exhausting day.

"I didn't ask you how the job interviews went this morning," she asked curiously. Fischer shook his head. "Terribly," he said. "None of these people I'd want in my company." His voice was cold and dismissive, and for a moment she thought he was referring to her, even though she knew he meant someone else. She smiled awkwardly and shrugged slightly. "Well, maybe the next one will be better."

Fischer remained silent.

"Have a good weekend, Mr Fischer."

"You too, Miss YLN." He gave her a friendly smile.

"Do you have any plans for the weekend? I know a good restaurant, would you like to join me?" The moment she realised what she had just said, she bit her lip, her face turning red. Had she completely lost her mind? She desperately hoped he hadn't heard what she'd asked, but it was too late. She could see Fischer raise his eyebrows in confusion and stare at her.

"No, Miss YLN. I'm not interested. I keep my work and personal life strictly separate." She immediately looked down, embarrassed. Thoughts raced through her mind like a rollercoaster and her cheeks felt as if they were on fire. "I'm sorry, Mr Fischer, I shouldn't have asked you that." She finally grabbed her bag and left the office without another word, feeling Fischer's gaze on her back.

It was drizzling lightly as she walked through the busy streets of London. The cold air did her good and she felt her head clear a little.

Why had she done this? It had been clear from the start that a man like him would reject her. But the words had come out of her mouth as if she had completely lost control. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. She didn't want to have a mental breakdown in public, even though it felt like Fischer had torn her heart into a thousand pieces. Suddenly the strange dizziness returned and her vision blurred slightly. The sounds of London became muffled, as if she were incredibly far away.

"Miss YLN, wait!" she suddenly heard a voice behind her that seemed to be getting closer.

She turned around. The dizziness had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Startled, her eyes widened as she saw the person in front of her - it was Mr Fischer. What was he doing here? Had he followed her? She tried to speak, but all she could manage was a hoarse stutter.

"I wanted to apologize, Miss YLN. It wasn't very nice of me to brush you off like that," he said with a gentle laugh. His voice sounded strangely different, softer than usual. Wordless and spellbound, she stared into the pair of light blue eyes before her, apologetic and gentle in their expression. She knew Mr Fischer had blue eyes, but she'd never noticed how incredibly bright they looked.

"It's okay, don't worry," she managed to say, her knees shaking with excitement.

"No, no, Miss YLN. I'll think about the dinner offer, okay? Just because we work together doesn't mean we can't have dinner together, does it?" Fischer suggested, and she nodded slowly, then smiled.

Why this sudden change of heart?

"Well, see you soon." He waved goodbye and YN, still completely confused, raised her hand in response. But before she could form another thought, he had disappeared into the crowd.

Carefully, YN pressed the shutter on her old camera, focusing the lens on the small lake in front of her. Satisfied, she lowered it. She was confident that this snapshot would turn out well. This park was a place she often visited to clear her head and pursue her passion, photography, as it offered many beautiful subjects. Especially now, in autumn, when the trees were covered with colourful leaves and the silence was slowly descending, with only the occasional pedestrian passing by.

Her dizziness had eased a little, but not completely. Fortunately, it was Saturday and she had the whole day to herself. YN sat down on a bench under a tree that looked to be at least a hundred years old.

She sat there for a while, lost in thought. Eventually she got up and made her way to the West End. The streets of London were noisy and busy as she walked, looking for a warm place in a café and something to eat. Crowds of people rushed past her, music played from somewhere and loud voices filled the air. Exhausted, she rubbed her temples. Maybe she should have stayed home and rested.

Suddenly she held her breath as she spotted a familiar face in the crowd. Dark hair, high cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. Fischer. But before she could think, he had already noticed her and started to smile at her.

"Miss YLN, how nice to see you! What a coincidence!"

It was the first time she had seen him in his casual clothes rather than one of his business suits. But this was no less elegant and stylish. He was wearing a well-fitting black coat, a grey knitted jumper underneath and black trousers. It was so strange to see him outside his office at Fischer Morrow Company. Suddenly he didn't seem so unapproachable and distant anymore.

"What are you doing here?" she asked curiously.

He paused for a moment. He seemed to be considering whether or not to tell her.

"I took my little girl to her friend's house for a sleepover. She's been asking me for weeks because her mum won't let her."

"So you're a cool dad," YN replied.

Fischer rolled his eyes. "I'm the one who lets her get away with everything. We had to turn back twice because she realised she had forgotten her favourite stuffed animal and her toothbrush."

She laughed softly. In a strange way, she enjoyed him talking so openly about his life.

"Oh wow, that looks amazing. It's quite old, isn't it?" Mr Fischer pointed to the camera around her neck. "From the 1960s. But it takes incredibly good pictures for that time," she explained. Fischer seemed genuinely impressed. "Do you have more like it?"

"I have quite a few. From the 50s to the 80s, actually, and of course some modern digital cameras. Photography has been my passion since I was a child," she explained. Fischer looked at her with an interested smile. "So there's actually film in there that needs to be developed?" she nodded in confirmation. "Some photo shops still offer that service, yes."

Mr Fischer seemed genuinely interested in her hobby, asking her questions about it as they walked side by side through the streets of London. She felt incredibly comfortable in his presence and hoped he wouldn't leave so soon. Finally he pointed to the camera again. "Would you take a picture of me, please? I'd like a 60's style photo of myself." YN's heart began to beat faster in her chest. What had he just said?

"Of course, Mr Fischer," she replied nervously. "Robert. My name is Robert," he replied. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks, completely surprised. No one at Fischer Morrow Ltd called him by his first name, and outside the company she had only heard his uncle, Peter Browning, call him Robert.

"Let's find a nice spot for the photo," he said, letting his gaze wander until it settled on a beautiful fountain.

Carefully, she picked up the camera, took a few steps back and held it directly in front of Robert's face. "Smile, please," she instructed him, finally pressing the shutter.

A pedestrian who had just passed them looked at YN with a confused expression and shook his head. Frowning, she looked after him before carefully tucking the camera into her handbag.

Are you hungry?" asked Robert. "We could go to a restaurant."

Surprised, she looked at him. "I don't know…" she said hesitantly, biting her lower lip. In fact, she had never expected to be asked such a question.

He looked at her with raised eyebrows and she could see the disappointment in his eyes. Finally, she worked up the courage to say what was on her mind.

"It's just… To be honest, you told me yesterday that you were someone who kept your work and personal life strictly separate. Maybe it would be better if we did. After all, I'm your employee."

As much as she wanted to spend time with him, she was afraid of developing even more feelings for him. Robert nodded slowly and shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

"I really like you. I just never wanted to show it, that's why I was so reserved with you and told you I wasn't interested in you".

She closed her eyes and let out a sigh as a ton of thoughts went through her head. Robert finally nodded at her with a slightly disappointed look on his face and turned on his heel.

"Wait!" she called after him.

He stopped immediately and looked at her hopefully.

"Let's give it a try, shall we?"

"YN… is that a French name?"

Robert's voice sounded slightly tipsy as he grinned curiously at her, twirling his wine glass casually in his hands.

He had taken her to a rather fancy and expensive place, the walls were dark wood panelling, the chairs were covered in red velvet and soft jazz music was playing on one of the radios. Robert looked hauntingly beautiful that night. His skin seemed incredibly soft and flawless, his jawline even more prominent, and his blue eyes shone almost ghostly in the dim light, almost like he wasn’t real…

She smiled, nodded and took a sip from her glass. "My father is French. I grew up in France but moved to England when I was 15."

He nodded with interest, rubbing his chin with his finger.

"And you? I heard you're Australian," she asked curiously.

Robert laughed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Well, my accent makes it obvious."

YN blushed and looked down at her plate. What a stupid question.

But Robert didn't seem to mind too much, because he started talking about his life in Sydney, how he had finally moved to London after his father's death, and she listened with interest.

But suddenly he stopped and looked at her thoughtfully. "But I'm probably just boring you."

YN immediately shook her head. "No, you're not," she told him. "I find it really interesting to find out all this about you."

At that moment a waitress came to their table with a smile and asked YN in a friendly tone if she had enjoyed her meal. But the waitress paid no attention to Robert, YN noticed with surprise. Perhaps she was just being extra polite to the lady.

Robert pulled out a black leather wallet and rummaged through it. Quickly, YN pulled a few notes out of her habdbag and handed them to the waitress. "Keep the change," she said.

The waitress looked at her with wide eyes, "Thank you, ma'am," she said gratefully, "have a nice evening.

Then she turned and left the table.

"You didn't have to do that," Robert said. "As a gentleman, it's actually my job to pay."

She shook her head in amusement. "I bet that's never happened to you before, has it?"

Robert shook his head and took the last drink from his glass. There was a moment of silence between them.

"Okay. So what's the plan for the rest of the evening?"

She looked at him in surprise. As soon as he said the words, she felt a tingle in her stomach.

The church clock struck twelve as she crossed the street hand in hand with Robert. It was freezing, and she had pulled her scarf so far up her face that only her eyes and nose were visible. Her date looked at her with amusement. "Are you going to rob a bank?" he asked, laughing out loud.

"Shh!" she snapped at him, putting her fingers to his lips. "You'll wake up the whole neighbourhood."

Although it was quite dark and she could only make out Robert, she knew that his typical mischievous grin was back on his face. She pulled him firmly behind her until they reached the small white building.

"Is this where you live?" Robert asked.

She put her finger to his lips for a second time until Robert stopped talking and looked silently into her eyes. Her heart was beating in her chest as she finally stood on her toes, put her arms around his neck and placed her lips on his. Robert returned the kiss without hesitation and gently pulled her into his arms. YN could hardly believe what was happening. It was everything she had secretly wanted for months. They remained like this for a moment before she finally let go of him and reached for her key.

She felt for Robert's upper arm and finally pulled him into her apartment, closing the door behind him. She immediately wrapped her arms around him and began to kiss him again. His lips were a little cold and tasted of wine. Together they stumbled backwards into her bedroom, taking off his coat, which she tossed carelessly to the floor.

Robert's fingers stroked carefully along her hip and fumbled a little with her belt while she was busy putting little kisses on his neck. With slightly trembling hands she pulled his jumper over his head and Robert took her hand.

"Are you nervous?" he wanted to know. She remained silent.

"Don't be," he whispered softly into her ear, taking her in his arms again and pulling her onto the bed. Breathing softly, she clung to his chest, leaned back and finally closed her eyes as she felt his warm skin against hers.

The sun shone through the half-open curtains, creating a narrow, bright streak across the floor. Blinking, she opened her eyes and stretched. But immediately a sharp pain shot through her head again and she held her forehead tiredly. Confused, she sat up and tried to remember what had happened yesterday.

But when she heard soft breathing next to her, she turned quickly and all the events of last night came back to her. Smiling, she looked over at Robert, snuggled up next to her in her beige blanket, sleeping peacefully. Tenderly stroking his messy hair, she lay down beside him again and then began to caress his bare chest. Perhaps what they had done was wrong. After all, they were two people who should never have fallen in love. But it had happened, and it felt so right. They remained in this position for some time, Robert asleep and YN lost in thought.

Her eyes swept through the bedroom until they settled on a small white box on her dresser. Quickly sitting up, she reached for it and put a small pill into her mouth. Eventually, Robert began to move a little beside her, opening his eyes tiredly. Smiling broadly, she gave him a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Good morning," Robert murmured in a raspy morning voice.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"Yes, wonderfully." He yawned loudly and took her into his arms as she laid her head lovingly on his shoulder.

"Wait, what time is it?" he suddenly wanted to know.

"Quarter past ten, why do you ask?" she replied.

"Shit," Robert muttered as he let go of the hug, jumped out of the bed and started to pick up his clothes, which were strewn all over the floor.

"Wait, wait, where are you going?" she asked, looking at him in confusion.

"I should've picked up my daughter by now," he replied, hurrying to get dressed.

Sighing, she pulled the blanket around her a little tighter. "Can't it wait? Can't you stay for breakfast?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm sure she's already waiting for me.“ Robert dodged her questions, grabbing his coat on the floor and sighing when he saw her disappointed look.

He walked slowly towards her, stroking her chin with his finger, and finally whispered: "We can catch up later." Then he put a soft kiss on her lips before turning around and disappearing through the door. She sank back into the pillows and pulled the blanket over her head.

The rest of Sunday flew by. Mostly because her mind was on Robert and she could hardly wait to see him again tomorrow at work. She had probably never looked forward to a Monday in her life as much as she did that day.

The next morning, YN carefully applied her lipstick and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She noticed that the collar of her white blouse was a little crooked and quickly adjusted it. She wanted to look her best for Robert today, so he wouldn't change his mind and lose interest in her.

Humming softly, she put on her black high heels and grabbed her handbag. She quickly put another pill into her mouth and put the box in her bag. Her headache was completely gone and her head finally felt clear and light again. In a good mood, she breathed in the fresh morning air and made her way to work.

Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked down the familiar corridor of Fischer Morrow. The lights were on in Robert's office. She ran a final hand through her hair, smoothed her blouse and opened the door to her own office.

The air was stuffy and hot. Coughing, she ran to the window and opened it.

"Good morning, Miss YLN, I hope you had a nice weekend," a familiar voice sounded from behind her.

Startled, she turned to see Robert's face as he stuck his head through the door, as he always did.

Why didn't he call her by her first name? Confused, she stared at him, trying to form a clear sentence. "But… But… we spent it together…" her voice finally broke. Her head suddenly hurt again.

He seemed so different again. Not the Robert she had spent the weekend with, not the one who had apologised for being too rude to her, not the one who had made her laugh and told her about his life. He seemed more like the one she had worked with for months, the one who never revealed anything about himself.

"Miss YLN? I haven't seen you since Friday, when you left my office after… asking me that question."

Her heart almost stopped. Suddenly her knees gave way and she sank to the floor.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?" Concerned, he bent down to her. "Do you want to go home and rest?"

She nodded slightly and wiped a tear from her eye, which had turned her fingers black from the carefully applied mascara. Then she got up and left the office.

At home, she lay motionless on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't think straight and her throat felt incredibly dry. The door to her room, which was only ajar, opened gently and something small and white slipped through. Sniffling, she stretched out her arms and lifted her cat onto the bed.

Everything that had happened that weekend had been fake. She had made it all up. And all of this happened because she had forgotten to take the pills against her delusions. Robert hadn't really followed her on Friday evening; it was all a figment of her imagination. While his real self was still sitting in the office, probably not thinking about her at all. Everything suddenly made sense: why Robert looked a bit different, why his voice sounded different, the waitress who ignored him on Saturday because she couldn’t actually see him, the pedestrian who gave her a confused look because she was talking to herself while taking the photo.

The photo.

She immediately got up, put on her shoes and ran to the photo shop where she had left the film to be developed. Her heart raced as the staff handed her the envelope with the photos. Trembling, she finally grabbed the Saturday night photo, without looking at it herself, and held it up to the staff's face. "What do you see?" she asked.

The young man looked at her in confusion, but remained polite. "The fountain at Piccadilly Circus. Great picture, it turned out really nice."

"Anything else?" she asked.

"No, ma'am," he replied, and it felt like a slap in her face. Fischer had never been there with her. Only her lonely and sad mind had led her to believe that he was interested in her and loved her. Tears welled in her eyes and she left the shop without another word. When she got home, she immediately took the white box of pills from her handbag, rushed into the kitchen, opened it and poured the pills into the bin.

Crying and with burning eyes, she finally lay down on her bed and buried her head in the pillow as her cat purred softly beside her. She must have stayed like that for hours, as the sun began to set again outside her window. When she finally lifted her head and wiped the tears from her face, she saw a dark haired man sitting beside her bed, looking at her lovingly with his pale blue eyes. A smile suddenly appeared on her face and she began to laugh, pulling the man into a tight hug.

some explanations because i know that story is kinda mind-fucking:

• Is Robert Fischer all a creation of the readers mind?

- No he actually exists, he’s her boss and she‘s in love with hin but she imagines dating him.

• When is he real, when is he fake?

- - The Robert Fischer in the office is real, he turns her down when she asks him out, leaving YN heartbroken. The moment she leaves the office, she starts to imagine what it would be like if he apologised to her, so the man who follows her is just her imagination. The real Robert Fischer is still in his office at Fischer-Morrow.

When she visits the city on Saturday and meets "Robert" and goes on a date with him, it's also just her imagination. That's why other people react to her with confusion, because she's basically talking to herself all the time. On Sunday morning, when she wakes up next to him, he's still fake. When she takes her pills, he quickly "disappears" (he says he has to pick up his daughter...) because they stop her delusions.

On Monday morning, when she gets back to her office, the real Robert Fischer is there again, who hadn't seen her since he had rejected her on Friday evening.

When she gets home, she throws away her pills and her delusions start again. The man who sat next to her on the bed and comforted her is again the imaginary version of Robert.

[obsessive-dumpling]

I have been waiting with bated breath but the end is nigh so it's time to get our final predictions in folks.

.

.

.

And I don't know.... I've had SO many predictions throughout this entire series and here we are, at end game, and I have no clue. Because Horikoshi is so talented at turning things where I least expect. Don't believe me?

Did you see "Kacchan of the Bakugos" live on world wide television happening?

Did you see "cutest girl in the world" happening?

Did you see "spend the rest of our lives together" happening?

(Spoiler Alert: There are so. many. more!)

Like we anticipated a lot of things as a fandom but then he would also smack us in the face with scenes straight out of our favorite fanfics. And why? Why did he do that? Why did he REUSE the line from School Briefs about Katsuki's relationship with girls in the final chapters of the manga? He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to do any of this!

Those were choices. Choices he actively made. Choices Shonen Jump let be published. Choices Bones is now animating. And it's because of those choices and that follow through that I'm so unsure now.

This all feels too pointed... Too intentional for there to not be a final bkdk scene/ending. So why the hesitation in predicting a bkdk ending?

Because. This ending isn't about the fandom. This ending isn't about "who's ship wins". And if you think that's all that's on the line here, then I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, cause you missed it. You missed the point of this series and what bkdk as a canon couple would actually mean in the real world 2024.

MHA is one of the top animes in the world. Check the numbers. Not Japan. Not American. The world! Do you understand what it would mean to have a canon gay couple as leads in a mainstream Shonen anime? How many people that would reach?

Representation in media matters. Representation in MAINSTREAM media MATTERS. God, I could do a whole seminar on this topic but the point HERE being: a canon gay superhero couple in a top Shonen anime would have a massive effect on a global scale. And how many need to see that? How many people could that help? How many people could it change?

And though Horikoshi has shown a heavy leaning towards a bkdk end game, that doesn't mean he has to, or even can, follow through on it. Unfortunately, it's not up to JUST him. Shonen Jump could tank it. Bones could tank it! Do you get it yet? It's going to take A LOT for this to happen. And frankly my heart is having a hard time with it...

Because we've seen creators fight this fight before. The Legend of Korra. SheRa. Both always intended to have queer leads. But had to fight TOOTH AND NAIL with everything they had just to get a final closing scene.

We've also seen queer baiters. So many have pointed out the similarities to how Naruto felt. And because of the nature of the series' mangaka, we will never know what the truth is on that matter.

We've felt shunted by the system. We've felt laughed at for having hope to see a love like ours up on that screen.

But now we have hope again. And there /is/ a chance. There is a really real chance right now- that we could actually get it...

And that makes my chest tight.

[theunholybastard]

Kinktober: October 19th - Quickie (Papa Emeritus III x Gender-Neutral!Reader)

Hi, lovelies! 👋 Sorry I didn't upload yesterday, I've been ill and it's been making it extremely hard for me to concentrate on writing :( I'm uploading yesterdays and todays kinktober stories to make up for it, I should be back on schedule soon <3

Tags: Quickie, Established Relationship, Semi-Public Blowjobs, Throat-Fucking, Cum Swallowing, 1st Person POV

"C'mon, mi amore, give me something..." Terzo pleaded quietly with me, voice low to avoid anyone else from hearing. We were in his dressing room to avoid the watchful eyes of the backstage crew and his Ghouls, but the walls were still thin, and he was supposed to be on stage soon. This was not the time nor the place to be rock hard, yet here he was. Rock hard. "I cannot go out on stage like this! I might smack someone from the front row in the face with it if I am not careful! I could take someone's eye out!"

"I think you overestimate the size of your dick, Papa."

"I most certainly do not."

"I can assure you that your penis does not extend the several feet needed for it to hit someone in the crowd."

"We're getting off topic!" He groans frustratedly. "It's still very obvious, no?" He gestured downwards to his crotch. He was right about that one, the tent in his pants stood tall and proud, twitching excitedly. Anyone would see it very clearly if he walked on like that. And as lewd as he liked to be during rituals, he still wanted to leave some stuff up to the imagination.

"Please tesoro, help me out. You don't want thousands of horny fans to catch a glimpse of what rightfully belongs to you, do you...?" He purrs, dipping his face in the crook of my neck, playing up the seduction in hopes I will be entranced and powerless against his charm. "There's not enough time." I grumble, frantically looking at the time on my watch.

"I'll make it quick." Terzo promises, holding my hands earnestly. "We may not have enough time to make you feel good, and that I am deeply apologetic for. But I promise to make it up to you after the show. Just help me out this once, please." I click my tongue, defeated. He always gets what he wants with that mouth of his. "What do you need me to do, Papa?"

Terzo sighs in relief, swiftly unbuckling his belt, dropping trow right there. "Will you suck your Papa off, amore?" He quirks an eyebrow. What choice do I have? The poor guy looks like he's going to burst, I can't have him walking out in front of a crowd like this, his mom is in the audience tonight for Hells sake! I drop to my knees, prepping him with some spit in my palm, working him with my hand as I relax my throat. A soft whine escapes him.

"So it's just like that, Papa? No romantic banter, no sweet kisses, no words of encouragement?" I tease, taking the tip in my mouth and working my way down south. He hisses pleasurably. "L-like I said. Not enough time. I will provide you all of that and more when I have you in my bed tonight, tesoro mio. I'll m-make you scream for me..." He thrusts weakly into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat with a gag. Normally he's more of a gentleman when receiving head, but in this moment of desperation, it seems it's more convenient to operate at his ideal pace.

I give him the go to use my mouth, whatever way makes him cum the quickest. I blink back the tears from the forceful thrusts, retching no matter how much I try to loosen up my throat. "Cazzo, your mouth feels so good. So wet n' fucking t-tight... I always cum so fast from this, y'know? You always do so incredible for me."

I swirl my tongue around his length to further stimulate him, pulling a deep growl from the back of his throat, reverberating in his chest. The heaviness of his cock always feels so good in my mouth, like it was made to be here. Delicious beads of pre-cum start dripping from his tip, that I lick up greedily. I just know people can hear us from the other side of the door. His hips buck faster.

People are yelling for him outside. The shows about to start. But he can't stop now, he won't, he's in the zone. He's so close, using every ounce of concentration he holds in that little body of his to work towards his goal, to reach the precipice. The fans are cheering, I can hear them, they're expecting him. That seems to encourage him further, a cheeky grin forming as he tilts his head back against the door to listen to the distant screams. This self absorbed mother fucker.

He grips my hair tightly, yanking me down one last time as he releases, seed spilling down my throat and filling my stomach as I swallow all the warmth diligently. He pulls me off when the shock waves die off, panting. I stuff his softening cock back in his pants, adjusting the buttons and belt while he fixes his hair. He notices a few greys, missing a spot from the last box dye session. He curses to himself and hopes no one notices. It's too late to fix it now.

Helping me back up, and pressing one last kiss to my cheek, he waves himself off, exiting the dressing room and rushing on stage. Nobody questions why he was late, especially since everyone could see the little droplet of leftover cum in the corner of my mouth that I forgot to wipe off. I watch him perform, giving it his all, and I can't help but feel a sense of pride. Another successful show, saved by yours truly.

-

[hermitw]

I've been thinking about this reblog of yours for months and I finally figured out how to respond to it.

I went and read No Longer Human by Junji Ito and it was a very upsetting thing to go through. I don't think I can read it again. However, I came out of it thinking that Gege was probably inspired by it.

When Yozo is first introduced, I noticed that Takaba's backstory was very similar. Feeling isolated from others, he decided to become a clown to gain acceptance from others. (Citations in Image Captions)

And later when Yozo was caught "cheating" (it's in quotes because those women are child rapists), I noticed that her face was really similar to the one Higuruma's client made when he felt betrayed by the trial outcome.

There's probably a lot more to say about how themes surrounding CSA and suicide in this work are echoed in JJK, but I'm not able to make the post myself. No Longer Human is too far out of my comfort zone in terms of graphic depiction to delve into it deeper.

But you seem strong enough to handle it, so... Idk maybe run with this some more.

Ohhh this is so interesting! I could definitely read No Longer Human again - tbh I read Junji Ito's version years ago. This year I listened to the audio book and bought a copy - but it's like, a draft in the author's handwriting (bc I thought it would help me study Japanese and if I had an English translation that I'd read it on repeat lmao). But you're real for that - I forget how disturbed people tend to be trying to read through it, I'm sorry that was rough.

I did go back to read the reblog and idk how relevant all that was - I've reread the manga since and felt like, oh I might have been misremembering some things like Uraume - idk if they actually had a freeze response in ch. 219, since they did tell Yorozu to back off though it took a minute - but it's also interesting how their CT deals with ice. Like to have a fight response, they freeze others? It's so interesting but I can't be sure whether it's there at all. (ik that yap II inspired some more coherent posts, like how it influenced Choso's self-image, etc., I linked but didn't tag you back then bc I felt Annoying especially w heavy topics but I can definitely go back and find them if you'd like.)

On a twin peaks note (without spoiling it), I feel like it inspired jjk to some extent - I've been feeling like the last chapter will end the way s2 did. Or at least - with the weird dreamy themes, "we are the dreamer who dreams and who lives inside the dream", etc...

But you're right - Yozo and the others' reactions resemble more jjk characters than I would think to connect. Takaba's jokes are truly a shield... And now I have an excuse to read Junji Ito's version again? Thank u so much (also isn't it funny how September 28 Uzumaki airs and September 30 jjk ends?).

I think gege gets inspired by the most tragic stories, I wonder how much of that is accurate but I can't always be convinced otherwise.... Especially when anime / manga series that he's confirmed as influences often deal with autonomy in ways that I couldn't handle (Evangelion, the night beyond the tricornered window).

By the way - ik we've mentioned elfen lied before, but in the first episode, you know that coffee mug? How it looks like jjk foreshadowing? Even has snail head Mahito - cut off-, the baseball, Panda, the worm (also cut off).... and later the newborn babies that look just like Yuuji...

I swear that elfen lied, Kagewani, and banana fish influenced jjk. It seems so obvious w those, maybe Vampire Princess Miyu as well.

Sorry for getting off topic - I've been looking into why Momotaro keeps coming up in jujutsu kaisen, and in the end it came back full circle to that damn coffee cup. Invest in a baseball team? A zoo? I'm going insane.

All this to say - rereading Junji Ito's version and seeing if I notice similarities between manga panels is so exciting. Gege even made a note that he asked for permission before drawing - I think it was the Uzumaki CT - So we know he's a big fan of Junji Ito. And it seems like there is a rly good chance No Longer Human inspired him as well (though I feel like characters with similar traumas having similar reactions is inevitable to some extent, if they're written in a believable way, it should be clearer when I'm reading both stories in the same format) based on the stories he has officially referenced.

[zoeykallus]

Hi! I read your Bad Batch baby HC and really enjoyed them! How would the guys react to a parter telling them that they’re infertile? I hope you’re having a good day/night!

Aloha!

Now, that's a heavy hitter and an interesting one indeed.

The Bad Batch x Afab!Reader HCs - True Affection

Hurt/Comfort/Infertility/Fluff

_____________________

Hunter

By now it is absolutely clear, your relationship is something serious, you have reached the next level. You get nervous, because now, at the latest, you should tell him the truth. When you take him aside and cautiously address him about it, he looks at you confused at first. Hunter can't immediately process what you're saying.

You watch him quietly think for a moment, just a moment ago he was all jovial, now he suddenly seems so serious, it makes you nervous.

"I'm sorry about that" he finally says quietly, "How are you coping?"

You sigh and say, "I've more or less made my peace with it by now. I've known for a while now. It was hard at first, but now I realize that fretting over things you can't change is wasted energy. So I've accepted it and decided to make the best of it, to just enjoy my life."

Hunter nods slowly, then smiles tenderly.

"I'm glad you have this confidence in me to tell me".

He takes your hands in his and kisses your forehead.

You say softly, "Well, our relationship has been going on for a while and I thought it would only be fair to tell you about it before you start to…. plan a family."

Hunter laughs softly and says, "Sweetie, we have enough work keeping my brothers and Omega in check. Besides, should we really feel the urge to raise kids someday, there are more than enough out there who need a home"

You take a deep breath, leaning against him in relief. This is a conversation you imagined would be harder. Hunter holds you gently and strokes your back soothingly, sensing the restlessness in you that is just very slowly subsiding.

He says softly, "My love for you remains unchanged."

Tech

"Tech, can we talk for a moment?"

Normally he would have nodded, continuing to work, looking at you briefly and saying, "Sure," but he hears something in your tone that makes him look up. Tech slowly puts the holopad aside and looks at you very intently. Somehow, this undivided attention on his part makes you even more nervous than you already are.

You turn around, close the cockpit door behind you, and sit down with him.

"You look heavy-hearted. Did something happen?" he asks quietly.

You don't know how to begin, so you just blurt it out.

"I can't give you children, I'm infertile".

Tech raises his eyebrows in surprise, he certainly wasn't expecting this topic. At first moment, he doesn't even know what to say. A thousand possible answers run through his head, but in the end only a rather simple, "I see" comes out of his mouth.

It's so hard for you to pull yourself together, your voice trembles slightly as you say, "I thought you should know, to be fair. Before things get to the next level between us… you know, couples usually start planning families and stuff at some point."

Tech blinks, pushes his goggles up the bridge of his nose with his index finger, then turns all the way around in his chair to face you. Now you're even more nervous, usually in conversations (no matter with whom) Tech is usually busy with up to three other things, but here and now he's fully focused on you. There is a certain excitement, you feel flattered, there is a tingling under your skin, usually only in intimate hours he is really fully attentive. But in this context, your heart beats up to your neck with fear.

"You're scared," he states.

"Is it that obvious?"

Tech nods.

"I know you well enough to see it. It's pretty obvious. But from my point of view, true affection, true love, is not tied to the possibility of procreation. However, I understand that it is quite natural to feel this desire, it is in the nature of almost all living things to reproduce."

You nod slowly, not quite knowing whether to be relieved or still nervous.

"My affection for you, is not tied to the possibility of starting a family," he finally says matter-of-factly, "I hope this helps you overcome your fears regarding our relationship. I'm not going to turn my back on you over this."

You take a deep breath, the tension falling from you, a single tear rolling down your cheek, which he gently brushes away with one of his long fingers.

"Are you sure about that?" you inquire softly.

"Of course I am, I don't say things like that lightly. You have my deep, unconditional affection."

Echo

When you bring up the subject of children, he looks at you in surprise. He didn't really expect that, up to now his life hadn't necessarily followed a normal course, he hadn't thought about family planning yet, even though you've been together for a while. Echo is very happy and content with what you have as a couple. The trust, the affection, the intimacies, the quiet hours and the loving little silliness. It's already more than he would have ever dared to hope for before.

Echo says thoughtfully, "Honestly, I didn't think about it until now. It was never really a part of my future plans so far," he says thoughtfully.

With a heavy heart, you tell him, "As long as you're with me, I'm afraid that won't change. I am infertile."

Echo raises his brows in surprise, his expression softening. He knows you well enough to see how hard it is for you to broach the subject.

"It weighs heavily on your heart, doesn't it?"

You nod with a sigh.

Echo takes you in his arms, squeezes you gently, and asks, "How long have you been struggling with this thought?"

"Quite a while," you admit quietly.

"Oh darling," he says softly, "There's no need for that. You're my better half, I'm incomplete without you, nothing will change that. I'm so sorry that this has burdened you."

You take a deep breath, wrap your arms around him and feel deep gratitude for his understanding, his affection.

Echo says tenderly, "If you ever really want to be a mother, we can always think about adoption, there are enough children who need a home. All that matters to me is knowing you are by my side."

"Are you sure that won't change?" you ask softly.

Echo kisses your forehead and brushes a stray tear from your cheek.

"Absolutely sure! Honey, you're all I really need. Don't worry, you can be sure of my love."

Wrecker

He is so good with children, the children love him no matter where he goes. It's a beautiful image, but also one that triggers deep pain in you, fear. In a village you saved from some pirates, at the little party they hold to honor the batch, practically all the kids are attached to him, they all want to play with him and show him things.

You watch this for quite a while, but your thoughts turn somber and a lump forms in your throat. You'll never have kids of your own, and you don't know how to tell Wrecker. Hunter looks at you, sensing something is wrong. As your eyes meet, he asks gently, "Are you okay?"

You force yourself to smile, take a deep breath, and lie, "I'm just tired, maybe I should go to sleep."

You get up from the table, and retreat into the Marauder. A few minutes later, when you are more or less comfortable in the bunk, reading a book to take your mind off things, Wrecker comes in. He looks at you tenderly, concerned.

"Did you get rid of the kids?" you ask with a small smile.

"Hunter said something was wrong with you. He said you've retreated and that I should check on you."

You sigh, "Of course he did."

Wrecker sits down on the edge of the bunk and reaches for your hand.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

You swallow, collect yourself, and finally say, "When I saw you with the village kids earlier, I realized we needed to talk about something"

Wrecker frowns questioningly.

"Oh yeah?"

You say directly, as if quickly ripping off a Band-Aid, "I'm infertile".

Wrecker sits silently, looking at you uncomprehendingly. The information takes a moment to sink in. After a while, he says, "You can't have children of your own."

You nod, put the book aside and run your free hand over your face.

"Yes, unfortunately. That means we can't have children together"

"'Scooch over," he prompts you, lying down next to you.

Still holding your hand, he is now lying next to you.

"Okay, that's unfortunate, and I suspect that's not easy for you, but it's not the end of the world" he says thoughtfully.

"Oh no?" you ask critically.

"No," Wrecker says with conviction, "we do love each other, don't we?"

"I love you very much, yes"

He turns his head to look at you and smiles.

"See, we don't need much more than that. I love you with all my heart. And you can adopt children too if you really want some."

You laugh softly.

"Is it really that simple? Doesn't that bother you at all?"

Wrecker says softly, "The only thing that bothers me is that it makes you unhappy. I want to see you smile, love."

You kiss his chin and say, "Don't worry, Wrecker, you make me very, very happy."

Crosshair

He responds pretty matter-of-factly when you tell him you're infertile.

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

He asks, "What do you want to hear?"

You throw your arms in the air.

"I don't know, but maybe something more than just an 'okay'"

Crosshair sighs, sits down and says, "Kids were never part of my life plan, and honestly I don't want any. So for me, nothing has changed"

You frown, not sure if you're happy with that answer. On the one hand, it's good to know, but it seems so insensitive. However, you're actually used to his rather edgy manner by now.

"Okay, good to know," you say with a sigh, not in the mood to argue with him or pull the words out of his nose.

But as you turn away to leave the room, you feel his hand on your shoulder. You stop but don't turn around.

"Listen, Kitten," Crosshair says more gently, "I can't imagine how much of a burden this must have been on you, and I can understand that my reaction didn't come across as very sensitive."

You remain silent and wait. He spins you around so that you have to look at him.

"But like I said, nothing changes for me. You're still mine, Kitten and you always will be, whether your uterus works or not doesn't change that. Stop pouting, sweetie."

You roll your eyes and a small laugh crosses your lips, relief finally coming.

"The way you express yourself sometimes…" you say with a sigh.

He shrugs his shoulders.

"As direct as possible, you know me".

You smirk, and he gently kisses the corner of your mouth.

" That's how I like your face much better, Kitten, with that little smirk of yours".

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

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